Listen, I dislike Alex Rodriguez just as much the next red-blooded American.  As a Mariners fan, I’ve hated him since before it was cool.  But I apparently have nothing on Page Six, which aggressively pursued every angle of his odd relationship with Madonna, and has now moved on to innuendo regarding the slugger and fashion icon Donna Karan (pictured, RAWR!).

A-Rod flew into Parrot Cay to ring in the New Year with Demi Moore, Ashton Kutcher, Bruce Willis and Donna Karan . While on the island, a spy says the slugger got “very close to [Karan] who only had eyes for him and followed him around all night on New Year’s Eve.” But apparently Rodriguez is “still hung up on Madonna” and refused Karan’s advances.

At this point A-Rod could go to his mother’s funeral, and I wouldn’t be surprised if Page Six said he was eyeing the ground hungrily while thinking about sex with corpses.  And that he chose not to have sex with one corpse because he’s “still hung up on” another corpse.  That’s pretty much the same thing.  Except a little less embarrassing.