For the last two years, I’ve been at the Super Bowl, swindling my way into various parties so I can take pictures that don’t turn out well and tell stories no one’s really interested in. Turns out I can stay home, get better photos, and not waste my and your time recounting disappointing evenings. I mean, uh, WOOOO SUPER BOWL!!!!1!!!!11!!!
Anyway, these are photos from last night’s Gentleman Jack/GQ/Yardbarker Super Bowl pre-party, hosted by Terrell Owens. Aside from the banner image, we’ve also got the soul-sucking eyes of agent Drew Rosenhaus — yes, he has a Superman logo incorporated into a T-shirt of his own agency — and Darren Sproles, whose watch is slightly nicer than my Casio. BUT DOES IT HAVE A CALCULATOR? I think not. Winner: me.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/226/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Dolphins-Aircraft-Carrier-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/alex-karras-george-plimpton-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/JR-Smith-Louis-CK-180x180.gif)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/04/Edelman-and-Cooper-with-Bauman-180x180.jpg)
Yes (if drunk), yes (if drunk), yes (if cellmate), yes, yes, definitely yes.
Dibs on second from right.
I figured the Steeler fan from the earlier post would be the biggest douchebag I saw today wearing a Superman logo, then I see this picture of Rosendouche, I mean Rosenhaus.
Dibs on anyone but T.O.
Chintastic!
Sproles’ watch wouldn’t fit on our huge wrists anyway
Nobody fake-smiles like Rosenjew. NEXT QUESTION.
And we’re supposed to find those women attractive?
I am wearing my Casio CA53W-1 right now. Anyone wanna know what 6476 x 298 is? No? Alrighty then.
//looks at girls in picture, finishes calculation, saves and closes spreadsheet, goes off to find nearest tall building.
I think Sproles designed that watch himself in Blingee.
my Timex has the indiglo feature so suck on that Sproles
The party turned ugly when T.O, angry that the women were getting more attention than he was, accused the male guests of being gay.
Yes, Yes, not even on a 15 to life ride, Yes, sorry Rock -I’ll fight you for her, yes.
I don’t need a watch…I have a clock on my computer!
/game, set, match
That second one on the right is certainly kidnap worthy.
In case you care, the three on TO’s left are Tampa Bay Buccaneer cheerleaders, the one on his immediate right is the Buccaneers’ cheerleading director, and the one on his far right is your mom.
This is as close as TO will ever get to the superbowl. He should live it up.