
Molly Oberstar is a 20-year-old figure skater from Duluth who is vying for the national title at the U.S Figure Skating Championships. She also happens to be attractive: she’s one of 12 finalists for Mpls. St. Paul Magazine’s “Real Model” contest. And in a day when so many athletes never show us their true selves, Molly is refreshingly candid:
I have physical attributes that would qualify me to be a real model. I am 5-feet-8-inches tall with a slender build that is toned by fifteen years of competing in the sport of figure skating. My eyes are large, my lips full, my legs long. Many have told me that I should be a model. Some have even told me that I have an exotic, European look.
I can already hear the ugly people bitching about that. That’s not her being full of herself, that’s fact. Fact: she’s 5’8″. Fact: her eyes are large. Fact: her lips are full and her legs are long. Fact: your pants are unzipped.
Listen, attractive people like Molly and me shouldn’t have to apologize for what God gave us, okay? Do you think I enjoy this burden of having an electric smile and great hair and a huge penis? Well, actually, I do. But that doesn’t mean it’s not still a burden.
[Story: Randball; Images: flickr and pbase]







“Many have told me that I should be a model. Some have even told me that I have an exotic, European look.”
– I told her that she was the best $75 I ever spent, but for some reason she’s not showing off about that part.
With an attitude like that, she’s gonna get Kerrigan-ed.
“Do you think I enjoy this burden of having an electric smile and great hair and a huge penis?”
Shouldn’t “electric” be in front of “penis”?
Fact: figure skating still sucks.
From the looks of that chain, she also seems to drive an IROC. Seems like a real catch!
FUCK, SHE’S NOTHING A FACE FULL OF 12 GAUGE CAIN’T FIX, PATOO!
She would look better in Barely Legal. So would you, Matt.
Yeah wow her face is really- . . . . mmm Campbell’s . . .
Even better, he also enjoys wearing sequins and flesh-tone bodysuits. It’s meant to be!
Personally, I can’t find it in myself to criticize a girl who can put one of her legs that high over her head.
Trying to think of a figure skating joke for some reason made me realize that football season is almost over. Fuck. I’m fixing a cocktail.
I’m afraid to click on thumbnail #4 because it looks like she might be a he.
Do you think I enjoy this burden of having an electric smile and great hair and a huge penis?
*cough*[kissingsuzykolber.uproxx.com]*
“Fact: your pants are unzipped.”
I find in the workplace using a hole in your pocket draws less attention. “Im just looking for that tube of chapstick uhhh I mean you know the economy size one…”
Ha! Joke’s on you: I’m not wearing pants!
She looks like jailbait.
I think she is also the grandaughter of US Representative James Oberstar.