“Aww geez, ya got the stink lines an’ everything.”

Super Bowl week is that time of the year where we learn useless minutiae about each team’s players.  Things like: Cardinals defensive tackle Darnell Dockett got the nickname Fart Box from his teammates.

“He takes these protein shakes where he’s trying to keep himself healthy, but when it comes out we all suffer,” [nosetackle Bryan] Robinson said. “It’s nasty.”

Fart Box, now THAT’s a nickname.  The whole “first initial + first syllable of last name” thing bugs the hell out of me.  A-Rod, K-Mart, J-Bug — anyone who pushes these nicknames on people should be flayed in a crowded intersection.  See, nicknames aren’t supposed to make you look cool.  They should be embarrassing and made up by friends, or teammates, or older fraternity brothers who recently sodomized you with garden vegetables.

[Deuce of Davenport]