Jake Hogue is a place kicker for the Ball State Cardinals, and he seems to have done well for himself. According to a tipster, the “awful backup kicker” is dating “Abercrombie model Sarah Bakian,” but I find that hard to believe. Not that he’s dating her, but that she’s an Abercrombie model. The girls who model for Abercrombie all look like underdeveloped 14-year-olds hanging out with homoerotic beefcake. Like, this chick is all lonely while these guys get naked together, and this guy sticks a trumpet in his ass while the girl looks away. Man, you gotta hand it to Abercrombie & Fitch. They sure know how to sell overpriced distressed cargo shorts.
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She looks like she used to be one of the male models, and by male model, I mean a fag.
First picture, two questions:
1. Are her boobs superglued together there?
2. Is he incredibly tiny, or is Polo now supersizing their yuppie-ass logo?
There’s something a little off about her. She’s just not tan enough.
As much as I despise the whole “kissy face” look girls give to the cameras to look “cute”, that second picture makes me harder than a granite kitchen counter.
He may be an awful kicker, but you’ve got respect a guy that uses tits as a kleenex.
That motorboating sonofabitch.
She’s just not tan enough.
Seriously. One more coat of fake tan and she’ll be the shade of orange you only see on Oompa Loompas and Rep. John Boehner.
Oompa Loompas and Rep. John Boehner
And Lindsay Lohan
And Nicole Kidman…
…I’m terrible at this game
I love his Halloween costume — there’s a party in his pants!
And Lindsay Lohan
And Barack Obama
/War Machine
And Lindsay Lohan
That may be the worst of all. A redhead with a dark tan. OK.
Nah, Boehner is the worst. Did you see his last press conference? It’s the middle of winter in Washington, D.C., and he’s still darker than George Hamilton.
Dude, we get it. You’re gay. Being a conservative Republican was a big enough hint, you don’t have to spray on the Big Gay Al bronzer as well.
Mark Foley and Larry Craig advised Boehner on his skin.
The orange spray-tan contrasts nicely with their spunk.
/if you claim to hate gay people, you’re probably gay
//whereas I love hot lesbians, which makes me a lesbian?
I have a Boehner right now.
Plus, I’m starting to see why the Northern Colorado State punter got stabbed for his gig.
So she’s not saving herself for marriage, then? What a whore.
I wouldn’t mind getting her Bakian the saddle.
Believe it. She’s the No. 1 A&F model for the company’s clothing line inspired by strippers and meth whores. Mmmmm craaaank.
I can totally see her uvula. Nice.
A few things…
1) Her tits are fake.
2) She’s not a model.. she only works at A&F and all employees are called “models”
3) Her tits don’t move, nor bounce. they are hard as rocks.
4) lastly, fakebake..