01.14.09 BARRY ZITO MORE TAINTED THAN EVER
“I now have this many strands of herpes”
Few people in all of baseball — hell, in all the world – have been paid so much to do so little as Giants pitcher Barry Zito, but this is way more astounding and unforgivable than the $14.5M he made last year to lead the NL in losses: he’s rumored to be dating… **burps up some vomit** … Paris Hilton. People says:
Paris Hilton was all over San Francisco Giants’ baseball star Barry Zito at the grand opening of MyHouse, a new Hollywood nightspot. Whether it was drinking, hugging, whispering, laughing or holding hands, the two were focused only on each other – and Hilton looked really happy, a clubgoer tells us. The heiress flitted from table to table, chatting with fellow revelers like Tyson Beckford and Kim Kardashian, though she never left Zito’s side for too long.
As much as the name “Paris Hilton” sickens me to even type, I suppose this makes sense. She’s gotta make Zito feel better about himself. Him: “I dunno, the way I pitched last year, I’m not sure I earned my millions of dollars.” Her: “What’s ‘earn’?”
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/george_poor_little_rich_boy-135x135.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/alanis-135x135.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/hideki_matsui-135x135.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/lorrie_jim_nantz-135x135.jpg)
There are 17 comments about:
BARRY ZITO MORE TAINTED THAN EVER
NO, NO…NOT “CUMDUMPSTER”…CUM *RAG*!
OH, LOOK! PARIS HILTON WAS IN THIS ARTICLE, TOO!
The caption should read: “Paris gave me THIS MANY strains of herpes.”
+1 WWSM. That’s getting changed now.
two completely worthless performers. It’s a match made in heaven.
She’s packing some ‘roided-up STDs if they’re warping his fingers like that.
What does she have? Crotch rickets?
More like “The Giant and The Giant Vagina”…high five?
With Tim ‘Telly’ Lincecum and Randy Johnson also pitching in SF, I think its time to seriously consider ‘The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly II: Scottsdale Spring Break Gone Wild’.
THAT WOULD FUCKING ROCK BALLS IF ZITO GAVE HILTON THE “DIAMOND CUTTER”!
Which one is the dirty slut?
Kenny, for the love of God, lay off the all caps. You’re making my fucking eyes bleed.
And, on a related note, maybe it’s time to give decaf a try.
@Punch:
Fox Broadcasting on line one. They’d like to talk about funding your new game show idea.
Jesus Barry, maybe you should have taken the watch and the oxford off before your start.
“…so he was a little overeager, so I dropped a deuce on him, and he went down.”
“Oh yeah, I’ve done that.”
+1 WDYA - although i had to use the Google to figure out if deuce was a baseball term too, or if Barry had different ways of bonding with teammates than most.
/the more you know
Is that Paris’s actual body, or did they photograph a department store mannequin?
I know, I know. Hard to tell the difference unless you can check for sores.
Kenny, I love the caps. Keep em. That shit cracks me up.
The Giants clubhouse is now instantly filthier than the Cleveland Browns’.
Zito was only hanging out with her because that stoner thought she was the guy kid from Who’s the Boss?
At least he’s not fucking Madonna yet.
Comment on this post:
You must be logged in to post a comment. Not yet a member, register for free.