We pick the winners of the weekend’s best matchups. Home team in ALL CAPS. Usually.

Tonight: MONTANA over Richmond. It’s the FCS Playoff. That’s Division I-AA football for the rest of the world. I know nothing about either team, so this might be my best pick of the weekend.

Saturday: Wake Forest over NAVY. Isn’t anyone else a little confused that Navy is actually playing in a bowl game? And against a middle-of-the-road ACC team? Why don’t they just bomb Nicaragua while they’re at it? At least I’d watch thatat 11 am.

BRIGHAM YOUNG over Arizona. There’s no word on whether the Mormons are being asked to go door-to-door to spread their religion in Arizona’s hotel room the night before the game, but I’m counting on it.

Sunday: Bengals over BROWNS. Cincinnati looks less crappy right now. Romeo Crennel might want to start pilfering the silverware out of the team room; he’s as good as gone as soon as the season ends.

Texans over RAIDERS. I think Houston should have made the playoffs this season; they’re that good. If Sage Rosencopter hadn’t pissed away a couple early games, they’d be right in the hunt.

Panthers over GIANTS. Believe me, the South isn’t nearly as racist as the midwest, which is too bad, because all of my racist jokes are just wasting away down here. At least we have a Sunday night game worth anticipating, for once.