It’s just your typical “Former SWAT Team cop gets gender reassignment surgery and then beats out a 21-year-old girl for long drive championship” story. Lana Lawless, 55, won the RE/MAX World Long Drive Women’s Championship. This goes to show that you can’t generate controversy in golf without shooting it up with artificial hormones. From FOX Sports:

“I am shocked more women are not complaining about this,” three-time world champion Sean “The Beast” Fister said. “It’s not an apples-to-apples deal. Men and women are different.”

Added former women’s world champion Lee Brandon: “In 2005, the USGA approved transgender involvement in competition, so I don’t see how we can dispute this. However, if a woman has the knees, hands and feet of a man, she has genetic real estate that is more gifted.”

Lawless had her supporters, including 2007 men’s champ Mike Dobbyn, who observed, “When I watch her, I don’t see any advantage. She hits it like an LDA (Long Drivers of America) woman.”

The rules governing transgender golf competition are precise and numerous. For Lawless, they included mandatory doctor reports, lab results within normal female limits and onsite testing.

Onsite testing? Are they afraid it’s gonna grow back? But seriously, you have to take precautions about that sort of thing. I always test my female escorts onsite. Now.