12.02.08 SURPRISE, SPORTS AGENTS ARE DICKS

Last night’s Houston-Jacksonville game blew ass, but it was at least interesting because Drew Rosenhaus — Plaxico Burress’s agent — showed up for a booth interview at halftime. And I say “interesting” in the way that historians look at the Holocaust and go, “Interesting” or the way biologists study an African village wiped out by ebola and say, “Interesting.” Because you just don’t see an evil bipedal reptile dressed in a leather jacket every day.

In the brief course of four minutes, Rosenhaus compares Plaxico shooting himself in a club to Sean Taylor getting murdered in his home, then — when Kornheiser starts asking tough questions — he hides behind the “there’s a legal investigation going on” curtain. So Kornheiser is all, “C’mon, at least admit guns aren’t a good thing for players to carry around,” and I swear to God, this is what Rosenhaus says:

“This is not an opportunity for me to provide a commentary on guns and NFL players.”

So, to recap, Drew Rosenhaus went on national television after one of his clients shot himself with an illegal handgun, and used that opportunity to provide commentary on guns and NFL players to declare that it was not an opportunity to to provide a commentary on guns and NFL players. So kids, if you’re conflicted because one of your sports idols used a gun, remember, Drew Rosenhaus has no comment.

[Awful Announcing]