Dallas Stars forward Sean Avery, famous for being a colossal dick on the ice, added to his infamy off of it with his comments regarding his ex-girlfriends and other NHL players (past flames Elisha Cuthbert and Rachel Hunter are now with the Flames’ Dion Phaneuf and the Kings’ Jarret Stoll, respectively). In case you missed it, he offered this up to reporters before anyone asked him a question:
“I just want to comment on how it’s become like a common thing in the NHL for guys to fall in love with my sloppy seconds. I don’t know what that’s about, but enjoy the game tonight.”
In response, NHL commissioner Gary Bettman has suspended Avery indefinitely. Seriously: indefinitely. Which is awesome. Because let’s face it, what he said was kinda true and not really all that bad. He basically got suspended because everyone’s tired of him being a dick.
Also, I think you technically forfeit the right to use the term “sloppy seconds” if you’ve ever hit on Paris Hilton.
UPDATE: Video of the statement after the jump.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/226/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Broken-Leafs-TV-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/ottawa-senators-pesky-back-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/jimmy-fallon-nhl-awards-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/James-Reimers-Wife-180x180.jpg)
This is fucked up.
Bertuzzi ends a guy’s career: 25 games
Avery “My ex is a slut”: Bye bye
Whatever.
Its a shame. It would have been fun seeing Dion hitting Avery into next week.
Does Avery only fuck virgins or something? Or does he only care about being the first hockey player in each chick’s tender trap? Because I know for someone who has already hit Rod Stewart’s “sloppy seconds”, he’s doing a whole lotta bragging.
Bettman suspended him when he found that Avery was dating WL mainstay, Jim Jones. Sidney Crosby already has dibs on those sloppy seconds.
the funny part is that Avery actually had MY sloppy seconds since Elisha and I had a relationship* back when she was on Popular Mechanics for Kids.
*made knuckle children
@Merk: I thought I was her one and only! It’s on, now…next time I’m in Canadia (wherever that is), we’re gonna tangle. NO ONE makes knuckle children with the girl I flog my dolphin to!
Canada? Fuck man.. you got it way wrong. I live in Columbia, C-O-L-U-M-B-I-A. so just go on over there, find the roughest part of town and just start pushing people around until you find me.
/and with another enemy fooled, our hero takes a long swig of maple syrup, takes a toke of legal weed, and rides his moose off into the sunset
Bettman probably only suspended him because he was worried that the NHL would get publicity for once. What a douche. Seriously, I’m no Avery fan or anything, but is there anyone outside of the Bush administration that does their job as poorly as Gary Bettman?
@ TBBJ
Fox NFL Sunday and Tony Kornheiser come to mind…
Based on that pic, I think he’s such a prick because of nicotine withdrawal. Anybody catch him smoking a butt in the penalty box? Maybe that’s what hockey players mean when they call him, ahem, the british word for “cigarette”.