12.05.08 POWER RANKINGS: MAAAAAAKE OUUUUUUT
I hate bullshit power rankings, so I make up my own.
1. Marisa Miller. She finally replaced Scarlett as the default Site News picture. Most women don’t make Heidi Klum look like crap, you know. More pics of Marisa, plus the Victoria’s Secret Angels, after the jump.
2. Plaxico Burress. Ah, the weekend misadventures that can occur when your club-hoppin’ sweatpants aren’t outfitted with a holster for your Glock. Good luck staying out of jail, buddy.
3. Sean Avery. You have to be a massive dickhead or in one hell of a fight to make hockey news on this site. Sean Avery was not in one hell of a fight.
4. Charlotte Jackson. She’s no Marisa Miller, but she’s a step up from Erin Andrews.
5. Michael Phelps. Landed him a tattooed Asian cocktail waitress from Vegas. A guy could do worse. A guy with 14 Olympic gold medals could do better.
6. Wunder Boner. For all your Troy McClure-ian fish-boning needs. Hilarity, thy name is Wunder Boner.
7. The UFL. Its logo looks sexual. In a related story, I’m in eighth grade.
8. Strippers! Safeco Field gets a huge upgrade with Deja Vu moving in next door. Now I can actually look forward to going to Mariners games. That way if cheering for the M’s gets too depressing, I can just think about the dancers’ lives.
9. Whatever just get to the other Marisa pictures already.
10. Here ya go.
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/03/american-apparel-hindquarters-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2010/03/human_smores_1-150x150.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/12/elin-135x135.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/megan-fox-nyt-out-11.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/amanda_harrington-135x135.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/10/mermaid-135x135.jpg)
There are 12 comments about:
POWER RANKINGS: MAAAAAAKE OUUUUUUT
Seriously…before I read Matt’s commentary, I was just going to say that Marissa makes Heidi Klum look like an extra from ‘Desperate Housewives.’
Oh my god I remember having a poster of Heidi in a blue fishnet on the beach when I was in 8th grade. Now, Marissa Miller goes around making her look like Gwyneth Paltrow?? I feel weird
I would use my Wunder Boner on Marisa.
/wondering whether I actually want to fuck or de-spine her.
//can’t it be both?
Marissa makes Heidi look like an extra from desperate housewives
Oh what the fuck
Really? A “massive dickhead”? For saying sloppy seconds?
Why not re-name this blog, “with leather…for sensitive feminist little bitches”
No, he’s a massive dickhead for being a massive dickhead. The sloppy seconds thing was pretty tame, but calling a woman an “old fucking cunt” isn’t generally considered a cool thing to do.
Why not rename yourself fuck off.
As a massive dickhead myself, I consider Avery one of my own kind, you fucking cunt. Unlike him though, I would cum “in” your face.
you and i have different ideas of cool, especially when it comes to ice hockey games and loud-mouthed old ladies who like to yell through the plexiglass.
but ok, agree to disagree.
Hey Shango — as a sensitive feminist little bitch, I’m hurt by your tone! However, since I’m above name-calling, I’ll just leave it at “Fuck off, fucktard fucker.”
Forget strippers at Mariners’ games, how did this not make Ufford’s top ten?
http://www.kickette.com/index.php?/site/comments/ljungberg_and_hasselbeck_sans_hair_and_smiling/
Plax’s new PSA on gun safety.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=fpgL5kuBpMA
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