POWER RANKINGS: HEY, THAT’S MY BOARD | With Leather - Sports news and gossip, panda sex, and the occasional Toonces the driving cat Photoshop

I hate bullshit power rankings, so I made up my own.

1. Marisa Miller. Eh, she’s alright.

2. Bacon. Bacon makes up 95% of the universe. And somehow bacon has lapped ninjas and pirates in awesomeness. Probably because it pisses off PETA.

3. The Option. It just netted Georgia Tech’s ~~Bob~~ Paul Johnson a seven-year extension. Now if I could only give my johnson an extension. See what I did there? Yeah? No? Eh, forget it.

4. Crappy Holiday Gifts. NASCAR’s Kyle Busch is buying you something you don’t really want for Christmas [second item]. But I thought this was a good gift idea. Or a total copout. One of those.

5. Cent Poker. If you love Cent Sports like I do, it’s worth checking out. Looks like their server issues have finally been resolved.

6. Black. Still looks good on everyone. Well, almost everyone.

7. Mark Tiexeira. Yeah, he’ll eventually sign a contract for $200 million this offseason, but he’s gonna get crushed on taxes.

8. The Neverending Stream Of Lies From Bernie Madoff. If you liked the Trump vid, you’ll love this.

9. Hockey at Wrigley Field. I can’t wait until the NHL starts playing every game outside. You know it’s gonna happen.

10. Evander Holyfield. Not dead yet.