Friday’s biggest news was that Tom Brady had gotten engaged to Gisele Bundchen.  But the TMZ report was discounted by Brady’s father, Tom Sr.  Could it be possible that TMZ was incorrect?!?!?  NO! I don’t want to live in such a world!

“We don’t know a thing about it,” Tom’s dad told us yesterday. “Nobody told me. We talked to him and there’s nothing to say. It’s rumor, rumor, rumor. It must be a slow news day.”

Now now, Tom Sr.  Don’t blame it on a slow news day.  Sometimes it’s just laziness.  Um, not that I would know.  **orders take-out, pays roommate to answer the door**

A 23-year-old his school athletic trainer in Orange County was arrested on suspicion of a sex crime.  Hope Jacoby is charged with oral copulation with a minor and unlawful sex with a minor.  Mmmm… illegal blowjobs are the best kind.

Sheriff’s deputies were informed of the unlawful acts by someone who saw a text message photograph, [Sheriffs spokesman Jim] Amormino said. The boy was between 14 and 17 years old.

Jacoby, who lives in San Juan Capistrano, was jailed in lieu of $100,000 bail, Amormino said. Investigators believe there may have been other victims, he said.

Yes, those poor “victims.”  Will the teenage boys ever recover from the mental trauma of being blown by a hot older woman?

I can only assume that these other victims were varsity athletes who needed extra attention from the trainer.  And good for them.  Varsity athletes have a hard time meeting girls.  I’m tired of all these stories about cheerleaders and teachers seducing the drama club president and the choir’s lead tenor.

[more pics at Busted Coverage]

Bowls – Missouri topped my alma mater Northwestern in a close-fought, 30-23 overtime battle.  Jeremy Maclin is getting due credit for the win, but Mizzou kicker Jeff Wolfert missed a 44-yard field goal at the end of regulation, meaning that if the Wildcats hadn’t blown a PAT, they would have won their first bowl game since 1949.  Wheeee.  God, I hate it when I care.

In a related story, Jason Whitlock is bitter he didn’t get into the Medill School of Journalism.

NCAA Hoops — #8 Georgetown upset #2 UConn in Hartford.  Eh, wake me up in March.

NFL – Rod Marinelli, Romeo Crennel, and Eric Mangini all got canned yesterday.  In more interesting news, the NFL is finally moving the Pro Bowl to the week before the Super Bowl.  Holy crap, people might actually watch it!

Saint Andrew’s Net is With Leather’s daily link hump.  That’s right, I said “hump.”  It’s sexier that way.

• Chris Paul has a killer streak. [The Basketball Jones]
• Bambi II looks awesome.  [Holy Taco]  Reminds me of the Gandhi II skit from UHF.
• Stuff White People Like is going to donate money to charity, depending on a popular vote.  Scroll to the bottom and vote for 826 National.  Yours truly happens to volunteer for the NYC branch, and we could use the extra scratch.  C’mon, it’s for the children.
• The best animated .gif you’ll ever see that doesn’t involve bouncing breasts. [Kissing Suzy Kolber]  Please note: .gifs of Ana Beatriz Barros‘s bouncing breasts welcomed.
• Mmmmm girlfriend!  Someone’s about to tell the TROOF! [the sugar sheet]
• Whoa whoa whoa.  Something else went wrong in the Dallas Cowboys organization?  I find that hard to believe. [Pro Football Talk]

Send tips to withleather@gmail.com.  And a tip for you: buy your New Year’s Eve champagne today instead of tomorrow.

Maria Sharapova is on the cover of the January/February issue of Women’s Health, and I have to say, the accompanying photo spread is a little disappointing.  She’s not wearing two pounds of eye makeup or showing lots of skin or even posing suggestively.  It’s like Women’s Health isn’t even trying to attract the chauvinistic male audience.  Well, Miss Fancypants Magazine, you can just go ahead and keep reinforcing positive body images using strong role models for young women and see where THAT gets you.

Full spread after the jump.  Also included: the catsuit Maria wore to the 2005 Espy Awards.  Why?  Because I can.

Read the rest of this entry »

“Yarrrr, I told her not to run on the wet poop deck”

You’ll have to excuse me for continuing to bathe in the glory of the NFL’s splendid Week 17.  I understand that this is public glory, and my nude bathing upsets the children.  But there are some NFL-related photos I felt I had to share, like the Buccaneers fans above.  The ribbon really dresses up the neck brace, I think.

Below we’ve got Steelers receiver Hines Ward chilling off duty with porn star Lisa Ann (he ruv her rong time?), and also a vehicle dedicated to the Steelers, courtesy Grimey at loljocks.  Hey, you can’t spell “Pittsburgh” without PT… Cruiser.

And I threw in some visual evidence of Tony Romo’s misery, because knowing he collapsed in the shower after the game just doesn’t quite satisfy my lust for schadenfreude.  Hey, he went home and nailed Jessica Simpson.  Is that worth the entire Dallas metropolitan area and millions more people hating your guts?  No, probably not.  Hooray!