12.15.08 MONDAY SUCK OFF: MISSED OPPORTUNITIES
Once again, there was no shortage of heartbreak, disappointment, and abject failure in the NFL, and as usual there’s no better place to celebrate all that than in the Monday Morning Suck-Off. The best of yesterday’s worst all took a careful look at their playoff chances or positioning and said, “You know what? Screw it.”
This is true of the Redskins, who erased the remnants of their playoff hopes with a 20-13 stinkbomb against the putrid Bengals, while the Giants failed to imrpove their dominant playoff position with a no-show against the quarrelsome Cowboys, New York’s second consecutive loss. The Titans had an opportunity to clinch home-field advantage throughout the playoffs, but instead got shut out of the end zone in their 13-12 defeat at the hands of the Texans. Baltimore, playing at home for the chance to steal the AFC North crown, also failed to score a touchdown in a 13-9 loss to the Steelers in which the referees mercifully gave Pittsburgh a last-minute touchdown to prevent a dreary game from going into overtime at 9-9.
Other notable Suck-Off accomplishments go to the Cardinals, who let Tarvaris Jackson throw four touchdown passes, and the Chiefs, who squandered a 21-3 third quarter lead and allowed two touchdowns and a successful onside kick to the Chargers in the final 1:19 of their 22-21 loss.
But no one sucked harder yesterday than Dick Jauron and J.P. Losman, who gifted yesterday’s game to the Jets. Nursing a 27-24 lead just before the two-minute warning, the Bills needed only a first down to seal the game, and a worst-case scenario (three runs and a punt) would have left the Jets with almost no time to even tie the game. Except the REAL worst-case scenario was Jauron calling a passing play on first down, Losman getting sacked and fumbling the ball, and the Jets returning it for a game-winning touchdown. Merry Christmas, Dick. You’re totally fired.
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There are 27 comments about:
MONDAY SUCK OFF: MISSED OPPORTUNITIES
I want to punch every Steelers fan in their balls.
The Bills winning the suckoff is the only positive thing I can hang my hat on today as a fan. We are the best of the worst!
If the Jets make the play-offs I hope they send a kick ass Christmas gift to Jauron and Losman. Go back to Yale Jauron, I hear they are looking for a new football coach.
Blogger, (not sure your actual name, probably Jeff or something)
It’s strange, but for a sports blogger, you don’t seem to have much interest in sports. Calling the steeler v. ravens a “dreary” game is pretty dick. That was a great game with tons of tension and great defense. Are you one of these ADD NFL fans that needs a total score of 60+ to get your rocks off? Just turn this site into a chicks in bikinis post and spare everyone your bad judgment. You seem to be credible and entertaining when you are at your most perverted. But dreary? Really? Come on, dude.
I miss Jauron as much as I miss Wannstedt. Which is not at all.
Commenter, (not sure your actual name, probably Shitface or something),
If you looked at any of the type in the margins, you might see something that said BY: MATT in all caps. You might also see the disclaimer in the upper right to have a sense of humor about this. Just because two defenses play well doesn’t make it a joy to watch for everyone else.
NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! The cocksuckers at work blocked KSK.
It’s only a matter of time before they take my WL away from me. I’ll miss all of you so very much.
Hey Fausnaught, leave Matt alone. Of course he sees things as dreary. Have you ever seen his mom’s basement? You know, because Matt is a Blogger, right?
Who the fuck is this Matt guy?
You know what else is dreary? The bedroom of Fausnaught’s mother. Tell her to paint that shit. Nobody wants to see jizz colored walls.
Defensive struggles that have only one controversy laden touchdown are one step away from soccer faggotry. Next thing you know Fausnaught will be lobbying for a clock that counts upward and a game that doesn’t technically end when it should. I smell Euro.
Instead of Firing Dick Jauron.
They gave him a contract extension
http://blogs.nfl.com/2008/12/14/jauron-bills-bound-through-2011/
Jesus…
Most of these people are just waiting for the one special Olympics post this year to maybe see their name in print. Mental Midgets.
And why would I have a sense of humor, Matt? You don’t seem to.
Hey Shitstick,
Sometimes we get our names on posts just for suggesting stories for Matt. So there.
I see my name in print every time I go to http://www.familywatchdog.us so don’t act like you’re better than me.
I strenuously object to the Bills getting the award this week. What more does Jim Zorn and his rotten offense have to do to earn your disrespect???
horny for zorny…hahahaha
How dare you take the lord’s name in vain, you ignorant pig fucking cunt?
If the Redskins are done, I want to see Colt Brennan start at least the final game. Not so much because I hate Jason Campbell, but more because I love seeing convicted felons play QB in the NFL. This could open the door for Michael Vick returning to the NFL and hopefully, Cleveland. The Dawg Pound indeed.
Spoken like a true protestant, Deadly.
Do people like Fausnaught actually exist? Absolutely ridiculous. Here is how the website is specifically described: “With Leather is a blog about all the assholes and idiots in the world of sports, and the hot chicks who date them. People who get offended or take too much pride in their favorite team should probably just leave now, because I hate you already.”
Get a clue.
Yes, we actually exist. We’re the guys your girl friends cheat on you with.
Fausnaught,i’m a hot babe, and i’m certain i wouldn’t get my groove on with you, just based on your posts.
Now, MATT, on the other hand, i would rock his world!!
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