Danica Patrick has a January court date in Arizona after she was ticketed for speeding earlier this month. From TMZ:
Cops confirm Patrick was busted earlier this month in Scottsdale, Ariz. for driving 54 in a 35 — 19 over the speed limit — which bested her last run-in with the fuzz where she was going 57 in a 40 — only 17 over. [Ed. note: Thanks for doing the math for us, jackasses]
This couldn’t possibly be a lamer story. Like, couldn’t it at least be a school zone? Or 40 mph faster? Can’t she offer the cop sexual favors? Side-swipe a pregnant lady? You’re killin’ me, Danica. I even had to go looking for other pictures of her because I was tired of using the boring white swimsuit ones from her SI shoot. They’re from the 2008 Espys, and her hair looks like shit. Great teeth though. Is this day over yet?
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There is a “women drivers” joke here some where….
Oh well, I’ll just beat-off
She knows how to drive stick, right?
::unzips::
I was thinking a “fast women” joke would be more appropriate. It’s pointless to try, though – this story is beyond redemption. You know what was a more interesting thing that happened today? I ran out of staples and had to go to the office supply closet to get some more.
I would truly enjoy giving her the best 3 seconds of rape she’s had since Richard Petty.
“I like fast cars and fast women. That’s why people call me the Cruiser.”
The cop originally gave her a warning. However, when he got back in his cruiser, he watched her try to pull away, spin her car out, and stall it…so he changed his mind.