12.08.08 CRISTIANO RONALDO CUCKOLDS MILLIONAIRE
Manchester United star Cristiano Ronaldo has a new girlfriend, and if you had “25-year-old Ukrainian face of a Russian mail-order bride website who happens to be married to a 50-year-old millionaire” in the Ronaldo pool, collect your money. Although Alyona Haynes is separated from geezer husband John, he blames Ronaldo’s interference for breaking up their marriage after he found text messages on her phone:
“They looked like they had been written by a seven-year-old… it was dreadful English and they mentioned Portugal. They were very coyly written. There were things like ‘Do you miss me baby? I miss you’. I just assumed she was playing around with a waiter who had just arrived from Portugal. I had no idea it was him.
“He’s not intelligent in the slightest. Alyona is a very intelligent woman so I can’t imagine what they talk about when they sit down together. I just can’t get my head around it.”
Yeah, that’s a real noggin-scratcher. “I just don’t understand why my wife would rather be with the handsome world-famous athlete who’s richer than I am and not twice her age.” Best leave that one alone. Some mysteries aren’t meant to be solved.
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There are 10 comments about:
CRISTIANO RONALDO CUCKOLDS MILLIONAIRE
Get Robert Stack on the case!
With the conquest of a Ukrainian, Ronaldo if now the undisputed king of Risk (international poon edition.)
There is no way that a 50 year old Russian knows how look up text messages.
“Alyona is a very intelligent woman so I can’t imagine what they talk about when they sit down together.”
Um, probably where he’s gonna put his money shot this time
But does Ronaldo have a room filled with potatoes? Because I bet this Russian guy does.
Those are three different women right?
289, and only one of them’s hot. (Midddle.)
She looks a bit, um, used up. Not saying I wouldn’t give her the old “7 seconds of bliss” treatment, just saying she’ll be hagged out at 30.
Maybe some good will come of this – namely, Ronaldo getting hacked to pieces by a bunch of Ukrainian gangsters wielding rusty meat cleavers.
Wait – is this “John” guy British? In that case, I guess Ronaldo better be on the lookout for a gentle scolding and maybe getting blacklisted at Harrod’s.
“I just assumed she was playing around with a waiter who had just arrived from Portugal. I had no idea it was him.”
because fucking the waiter would be ok. what a cockpumper.
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