12.15.08 BONZI WELLS STARTS OVER IN CHINA
Bonzi Wells, the talented journeyman who never shook his troublemaker image after being a key cog of the original Jailblazers, is looking for a new start to his career — in China. The former Blazer/Grizzly/King/Rocket/Hornet has signed with the struggling Chinese team Shanxi Zhongyu, which is coached by American Bob Weiss.
Wells, who arrived in China on Friday, insisted he had matured and he would fit in with his new teammates.
“I will not have any problems with the coaches. I am not a bad boy,” the Basketball Pioneers newspaper on Monday quoted Wells as saying.
I dunno. Maybe he’ll fit in, maybe he won’t, but either way I don’t like it. There are billions of Chinese, and they look different and have a funny language, so the best course of action is fear and hatred. If I learned anything while getting high and watching NBC’s coverage of the Beijing Olympics, it’s that smog-breathing panda armies feast on the flesh of Westerners. Well, guess what, commie pandas? THESE COLORS DON’T RUN! U-S-A! U-S-A!
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There are 8 comments about:
BONZI WELLS STARTS OVER IN CHINA
“Shanxi Zhongyu”
Geseundheit.
/wondering if Gregggg Estabrook could tell us what that means
I had a feeling that Tim Duncan had one of those “sucking on the fingers of sweaty black guys” fetishes.
This sounds like a scheme. Perhaps….a Bonzi scheme?
Yeah, it sounded better in my head.
In the next three weeks he’ll either call someone a “chink,” a “gook” or do the slanty eyepulling thing. Mark it down.
Bonzai Wells.
Tim, I came up with a simple mnemonic to help you avoid upsetting our future Chinese overlords by confusing them with the Japanese:
Clean and yellow, you’ve got Japs there fellow,
Dirty and brown, you’re in China-town.
dear matt,
hes not talented.
After every slam dunk, Wells will be heard to exclaim “Bonzai!” and slap one of the plethora of Chinese hookers seated courtside.
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