11.21.08 WEEKEND PICKS: …GET IT ON?

We pick the winners of the weekend’s biggest matchups every Friday, using an irrefutable sports prediction process. Hey, the coin never lies! But it doesn’t really tell the truth, either. Meh. Home team in ALL CAPS.

Tonight: Fresno State over SAN JOSE STATE. It’s football, and it will be on when your drunken self staggers back from your regularly-scheduled evening of overindulgence.

Saturday: OHIO STATE over Michigan. It’s sad that the Wolverines could have brought a better team to what I would call the best rivalry you can find.

No. 19 CINCINNATI over No. 20 Pittsburgh. The Bearcats are for real, Miss Jackson. At least until Tennessee scoops up Brian Kelly and leaves the program in the dust yet again.

AIR FORCE over No. 15 TCU. Air Force won a game earlier this year without completing a single pass. Don’t expect a repeat of that this weekend, but it would be nice to see.

Sunday: TITANS over Jets. Tennessee is winning with defense and an old, addiction-riddled quarterback that has a track record of saying inappropriate things. The Jets only have one of those.

RAVENS over Eagles. Fairly nice regional matchup of feces-consuming fanbases here. These teams are only about two hours away from each other in terms of distance, but light-years apart in terms of competent clock management. Donovan McNabb will garner some satisfaction that his team will actually earn a loss instead of a tie.

CARDINALS over Giants. It’s not that I really like the home team here, it’s just that the horseshoe has to fall out for New York at some point. Kurt Warner can put a pretty little bow on his MVP campaign with a good showing here. Christian joke.

Once again, the site will be dark over the weekend, so we’ll be able to jump about 10 inches higher than usual.