What to watch for in this weekend’s biggest matchups.  Home team in ALL CAPS.

SPRING TRAINING over Winter Meetings – Oooohhhh!  Which Major League free agent will sign where?  Oh wait.  There’s football on.  Try me again in March.

#4 FLORIDA over #25 South Carolina — Ah, the Spurrier Bowl.  This is the only game between two ranked teams this weekend.  Good day to go outside, get some fresh air, and head on over to the strip club.

LAKERS over Pistons – This is the late game on ESPN tonight.  Can AI ruin the LA’s perfect record?  I doubt it.  Which means it will probably happen.

UFC 91 over Simpsons Re-Runs — I don’t know much more about UFC than what Vince tells me.  I just like all the punching and choking and blood.  Reminds me of home.  Still too homoerotic for you?  Then I suggest you look at more ring (sorry: octagon) girls like Arianny Celeste.  Hey silly, that water totally missed your mouth! LOL!

Cowboys over REDSKINS — Romo and Witten return, but will likely be rusty.  I have no idea why the ‘Boys should win.  It just seems like the NFC East team with more to lose wins every divisional game.  Not that I plan on backing that up with facts.

That’s it for the week.  I’ll see you on Monday.  Stay safe: wear a condom if you have sex with a stranger, wear a seatbelt if you drive, and wear gloves if you kill a hooker.