11.20.08 THIS IS GONNA BE AN EPIC BOWL OF SUCK
As a native of the state of Washington, I’m pleased to announce that the Apple Cup, the annual rivalry game between the Washington and Washington State, will be nationally televised on FOX at 3 p.m. Eastern this Saturday. You may have heard of these programs this year: the once-proud Huskies are 0-10 with a lame duck high-profile failure of a coach, and Wazzu (1-10) is merely, oh, the worst major football program ever.
Lots of people are joking that this is the worst Apple Cup matchup in history… The next-worst combined records were in the 1969 Apple Cup, when the two teams entered 2-18…
[T]he Cougars may be the worst team in major college history, mostly on the evidence of the epic blowout losses they have endured. They are being outscored by an average of 48-12.
Seriously, national TV. Whose call was that? I know I don’t always try really hard at my job, but I don’t go out and try to get fired, either.
And yet… I may still watch it. I like B-movies. I like watching car crashes. I like watching building implosions. Who knows, this could be the Tremors of football games. Kevin Bacon, Reba McIntyre, the worms from Dune messing with hillbillies — that’s my kinda football game.
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There are 14 comments about:
THIS IS GONNA BE AN EPIC BOWL OF SUCK
those records are backwards. not that anyone cares.
Fixed. Not that anyone cares.
Dune sandworms are all over the litterbox.
talk about the suckiest bunch of sucks that have ever sucked.
Tremors is the fucking tits. How Fred Ward didn’t win an Oscar, I will never know.
The M’s. The Seahawks. The Sonics moving. The Storm NOT moving. And now this. Kurt Cobain should write a song about Seattle’s sports misery.
Normally things that suck this much have what’s called an “event horizon.”
Not to get all Klosterman here, but bad teams only suck in relation to good teams. When you put two bad teams up against each other, the two negatives tend to cancel out and create a thoroughly un-interesting match up.
That’s why I hate boxing but love to watch gangs stomp the shit out of one dude in an alley.
Couldn’t we do something productive with Seattle? Like, I dunno, nuclear waste dump?
Saunders might be onto something. Nuclear waste causes mutations such as tentacles, and Seattle’s got a relatively large population of Japanese women.
/ spent far too much time watching Japanese tentacle porn.
// doesn’t regret a single minute of it.
I can’t believe no one’s mentioned Michael Gross, who stole the show in Tremors in departure from his best-known role as Michael Keaton on Family Ties.
i cant believe we have gotten this far without a single jerramy stevens reference. Watch out pullman, i hear he’s coming and he’s got his new rapin’ shoes on.
As a Seattle resident, I can say that watching the Huskies is like watching retards fuck.
/Jeff Ross
That is my favorite photoshop of all time.
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