Those clamoring for a Republican-led Congress notwithstanding, this LeBron James thing is getting way out of hand. HE HAS TWO MORE YEARS IN CLEVELAND! Are there so few compelling storylines in the NBA that we have to develop them on credit? Depends on how much you like the New York Knicks, who hosted James’ Cavs last night in the Garden. Seems like the Knicks already are positioning themselves already for their best chance to win the upcoming LeBron Sweepstakes. From that one site:

This, however, was the first time that James had entered the building with the locals having legitimate reason to believe their future savior was setting foot in his future home. The game came four nights after the Knicks made two major trades that set the course for the future direction of their franchise, clearing $27 million of salary-cap room for 2010-11 when they traded away Zach Randolph and Jamal Crawford.

“July 1, 2010 is probably going to be one of the biggest days in free-agent history in the NBA, a lot of teams are putting themselves in position to get one of those guys, they’re gearing up for that date,” James said before spewing the requisite background quasi-disclaimer on how having the opportunity to win the most championships will ultimately be one of the major deciding factors when he chooses to move on with his life or stick with Cleveland as the center of his universe.

So obviously nobody cared about the game last night, which Cleveland won handily, 119-101. The only real account worth rehashing came from this guy: Read the rest of this entry »

I know what you’re thinking, “Great, more news from the Hoosier State.” But Indiana University was finally handed its punishment after this whole Kelvin Sampson debacle. Nine months after Sampson was forced to resign as men’s head basketball coach, Indiana accepted a punishment of three years’ probation from the NCAA, which acknowledged leniency based on the fact that their program is pretty much in shambles right now. From The Sporting News, via The Sporting Blog, via The Amazing Sport-nicolor Dreamcoat.

“It’s bittersweet,” said current Indiana coach Tom Crean, with the team in Hawaii. “We didn’t want to lose postseason, scholarships or television. Thank God we didn’t lose any of those so we can continue to move the program without the what-ifs.”

It’s the first time since 1960 that the school has been found guilty of a major infraction in any sport.

The probation comes in addition to sanctions IU already has imposed.

Only two players from last season’s team remain. The others were kicked off, transferred, graduated or left early for the NBA. The team has just nine scholarship players instead of the 13 allowed after giving up scholarships because of the NCAA investigation and poor academic scores.

Sampson himself will face NCAA recruiting restrictions through 2013, in the event he’s hired by another school. And if that school needs an amateur gynocologist to serve their female student body, they can call me anytime after 10 pm. I keep funny business hours, you see.

The Ball State wrapped up their regular season with a win against Western Michigan last night, pushing their record to 12-0 on the year. The Cardinals were paced by 5-foot-6-inch MiQuale Lewis, who ran for 120 yards and three TDs on 30 carries. Ball State’s season was dually notable for the program’s willingness to move their games around for television, having played games on Thursday, Friday, two Wednesdays and two Tuesdays, and I think I read somewhere that they also traveled back in time to play a game in 1956.

Ball State will play in the MAC Championship on Friday, December 3rd 5TH, after which their program will become college football’s latest Hey, What About Us team when the big bowls ignore them. But consider this: with wins against Navy (7-4), Central Michigan (8-3), Western Michigan (9-3), and having only one game where they scored fewer than 31 points (and, you know, being undefeated and all), Ball State is only ranked 15th in both polls. That means that even with you-know-who’s proposed top-eight playoff system, Ball State would still be denied a chance to play for the national title. How does your so-called system of fairness sound now?

[That One Sports Monolith]

Saint Andrew’s Net is With Leather’s daily link dump. This post couldn’t start your day any better if it were stuffed with scrambled eggs.

• The Sporting Blog points out that the Saints have actually played better since Reggie Bush has been injured. Other groundbreaking news: Water is wet and the sky is blue. And if I have my way with Reon, she’ll be both of those.
• I don’t know nearly as much about baseball as Walkoff Walk does, but this whole one-year extension business with Jason Varitek makes little sense to me.
• Food Court Lunch shows us the many faces of Jon Gruden. “Smug 5″ is totally different from “Smug 9.”
• How horrible is that new commercial from the front office of the Detroit Pistons? Adrants says they “failed miserably.” They’re being generous.
• Do these head basketball coaches resemble their schools’ mascots? Boosh Magazine thinks so. Though I didn’t know Duke changed their mascot to “Semen-Slurping Anus Babies.”

Send tips and submissions for Saint Andrew’s Net to withleather@gmail, and send naked pictures to my brother’s house. It infuriates his wife, which naturally brings me great joy.

Just weeks after two Bills fans were arrested for having sex in a bathroom at the stadium, a pair of Iowa fans matched the feat during the Hawkeyes’ road trip to Minnesota on Saturday.

A group of 15 onlookers were gawking at the scene by the time officers broke the couple up and wrote them misdemeanor citations.

Damn, why do cops always have to be such cock-blockers?  “You can’t have sex in public.”  “The court order prevents you from being on school grounds.”  “Where’s the body?”

The woman, 38, was turned over to her husband. The man, 26, was turned over to his girlfriend.

Ruh roh.  You know how in the game Monopoly, sometimes it’s better to spend three turns in jail instead of being out on the board landing on expensive properties?  This is like that, except with domestic abuse.

(thanks to awesomely named reader Matt for the tip)

Rory Fanning served in the Army with Pat Tillman, and now he’s walking across the country to raise money and awareness for the Pat Tillman Foundation.  Pretty cool, right?  Not to the jackasses at WDEF Channel 12.

As crazy as it sounds, 31-year-old Rory Fanning is walking across the country for a man he only knew a couple of months…

[to Fanning] Do people ever look at you and say, “You’re crazy”?

That’s some great reportin’. “Hey!  Over here!  Look at this jackass, undergoing a noble journey across our country to raise money for a fallen soldier’s charity!  What a rube!”