11.11.08 MADONNA: A-ROD HAS ‘THE HEART OF A POET’
No matter how many times I write “No way is this true” and “I refuse to believe it” and “I pictured it and now I can’t get an erection,” Madonna and Alex Rodriguez really do seem to be dating. And the stories from anonymous sources are only getting more sickening:
Sources close to the music superstar and the New York Yankees slugger claim Madonna is truly smitten by A-Rod, allegedly telling a close pal Rodriguez ”has the heart of a poet trapped inside an insanely gorgeous body.”
Rodriguez himself is said to be something of a romantic — penning not Madonna poems, but sweet, personal and rambling expressions of his feelings.
I get that from the ladies all the time. “The heart of a poet trapped inside an insanely gorgeous body.” Only the poet they’re talking about is Bukowski, and the insanely gorgeous body is Kate Moss’s.
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/sosa_pale-135x135.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/greinke_si_cover-135x135.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/george_poor_little_rich_boy-135x135.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/alanis-135x135.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/hideki_matsui-135x135.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2009/11/lorrie_jim_nantz-135x135.jpg)
There are 8 comments about:
MADONNA: A-ROD HAS ‘THE HEART OF A POET’
“Woe to the blue-lipped as the seasons turn…my contact rate falls with the temperature…still, the fulsome nature of my stock portfolio does not waver…even as the tart raspberries rain down from the unwashed bleachers…as ever, your razor-edge triceps stir my loins…and your gaping love-wound accepts my fearful member with the knowing grace of the eternal mother…my love, my Madonna.”
Wow. Bravo, WYDA.
While A-Rod may indeed have the heart of a poet, Madonna still has a vaj of an elephant.
Conversely, I have the body of a 17 year old girl. Trapped in the basement of an insanely run down (but heavily armed) bunker on the outskirts of town.
Stay back, johnny law!
WDYA has been waiting to use that
I’m assuming those “sweet, personal and rambling expressions of his feelings” are of the dried-macaroni-and-glitter-encrusted-on-shirt-cardboard variety. Or possibly the “incoherent utterings slurred out between doses of high-voltage electricity in Madonna’s love dungeon” variety. One or the other.
Oh, and Happy Veteran’s Day, dude! I hope you’ve got some brown liquor of the tastiest caliber on hand today.
I have the heart of a poet as well…but it is my trophy for killing Robert Frost.
BARF
Comment on this post:
You must be logged in to post a comment. Not yet a member, register for free.