Meet Tony Casamento, the new starting quarterback for Ellenville (NY) High.  He took over the starter’s job for the sectional semifinal just over a week ago, and on Saturday he led his team to the sectional championship.  Also, as you may have noticed, he’s fat.

“People laughed at me when I said he’s a quarterback in a lineman’s body,” said Ellenville coach Tony Borriello. “But he really is. It’s unfortunate that God gives us certain things, but you gotta deal with it.”

Casamento was given a slow metabolism, doctors told him, so he was always a big kid.

“I’d go on diets for one week and the next week put it all back on,” he said at practice Thursday, wearing the quarterback’s red jersey mandating defenders not touch him. “I love food. That’s what it’s all about for me.”

I guess it would be mean to make fun of a heartwarming story about an overweight kid who overcomes the cliques and cruelty of high school to find success and acceptance… but that’s never really stopped me before.  What a disgusting food blister.  Look at his socks.  He turned the Under Armour logo into a horizontal line.  Quarterbacks aren’t supposed to have cankles.  Or diabetes.

[Deuce of Davenport / Deadspin]