Meet Tony Casamento, the new starting quarterback for Ellenville (NY) High. He took over the starter’s job for the sectional semifinal just over a week ago, and on Saturday he led his team to the sectional championship. Also, as you may have noticed, he’s fat.
“People laughed at me when I said he’s a quarterback in a lineman’s body,” said Ellenville coach Tony Borriello. “But he really is. It’s unfortunate that God gives us certain things, but you gotta deal with it.”
Casamento was given a slow metabolism, doctors told him, so he was always a big kid.
“I’d go on diets for one week and the next week put it all back on,” he said at practice Thursday, wearing the quarterback’s red jersey mandating defenders not touch him. “I love food. That’s what it’s all about for me.”
I guess it would be mean to make fun of a heartwarming story about an overweight kid who overcomes the cliques and cruelty of high school to find success and acceptance… but that’s never really stopped me before. What a disgusting food blister. Look at his socks. He turned the Under Armour logo into a horizontal line. Quarterbacks aren’t supposed to have cankles. Or diabetes.
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Nice shot at that fat ass Jay Cutler at the end.
he’s like a young Jared Lorenzen, but thinner.
Why isn’t there a sandwich photoshopped in for the football?
He better not eat that fucking football. Those things aren’t cheap. He’s holding that thing like a stromboli, and he looks like he’s going to shove it down his big fatass throat. I hate fat people; and I’m slowly becoming one. Fuck you, 30 years. I hate you, and I hate what you’ve done to my body.
This is just another example of great QB’s that wore number 64. I bet he could start for the Lions today.
The tuba player HATES this guy.
Figures that his helmet would have a big damn fork on it.
He looks like he just ripped the tin foil off a big ass chocolate easter egg…
I thought that was photoshopped.
“was given a slow metabolism”
by who? the stork?
I bet his sister is a whore.
It does look photoshopped. The only thing that would look normal in those fat hands is some sort of meat product encased in some dough and meat sauce.
Billy Bob lives!!! Run the hook and ladder!
Gout – Out for Season.
Ellenville High? What’s their mascot, the Carpetmunchers???
“Cun-Ni-Lin-Gus (clap clap clapclapclap)”
FAT TAX.
Slow metabolism is doctor speak for, “your a lazy pig”.
you’re not your – I’m a little hungover from celebrating the Marine Corps birthday a day early.
Cankles on dudes are super gross. At least this dude is proportionally fat. Some guys who aren’t morbidly obese have them and that’s even worse.
Purple. Good call.
Smurphette – cankles on anyone are super gross.
You know, Tony is one hell of an interior lineman. And he did a great job calling the signals against Millbrook — EHS stomped them 56-13.
Sebastian Constable, the team’s regular starting QB, was back in the lineup this week after having recovered from appendicitis, so Tony went back to doing what he does best — making huge holes for the Blue Devils’ amazing ground attack. This week they won the Section 9 Class “C” championship, beating arch-nemesis Sullivan West HS by a score of 34-12.
Onward to the state quarterfinals.
Some of the comments here are more than a little bit puerile, imho, but maybe I’m being too sensitive.
“puerile” – leave. This isn’t that tub of lard’s fat man’s fansite. This is a site that hates digusting fatbodys. Ugh. Yut.
food blister? wow