No fountain metaphors, please
A former gymnastics coach at the University of Illinois is being investigated after a video camera was found hidden in the locker room. Police recently searched John Valdez’s home and computer files for criminal evidence. Sexy criminal evidence.
Valdez helped train U.S. gymnasts at the Beijing Olympics. He resigned from the Illini coaching staff last month citing personal issues, including a pending drunken driving charge in Wisconsin.
Oh, c’mon. The video camera obviously didn’t belong to Valdez. As someone who knows a little something about sexual deviancy, believe me, you don’t quit your job without first collecting all your girls gymnastics team recording equipment.
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John Valdez? Gymnasts? I smell donkey show.
The weeds in the drain show more bush than these broads.
Béla Károlyi’s influence on the gymnastics world reaches far and wide.
Tough to hold down a coaching position AND pick all those Columbian coffee beans.
“He resigned from the Illini coaching staff last month citing personal issues”
Such as, reviewing video tape in preparation for his next big gymnastics meat.
Yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes, yes.
Poor girls. They’re never gonna get their periods and now they’ll be all over the internet.
I wouldn’t mind if one of these girls did a triple sow cow on my balance beam. Hey yo!
/didn’t look up what triple sow cow was.
I think we’ll all agree that the big news here is that you can actually get arrested for drunk driving in Wisconsin.
@Wayne: A “triple sow cow” is a synonym for “female Green Bay Packers fan”.
/the more you know
A sow cow is some sort of pig-cattle hybrid, I believe.
A “salchow” is an ice skating jump and therefore unrelated to gymnastics.
You bring the same competence to blog commenting that you did coaching the Lions, Mr. Fontes.
Are they automatically registering gymnastics coaches as sex offenders yet? If so, Raphael Septien has a new career path…
*googles restaurants in Arkansas serving cattle-pig hybrids”
Do cattle-pig hybrids give you gas more efficiently?
@WDYA: I can’t wait for the bacon flavored steak.
Alright lets try this again: I wouldn’t mind if one of these girls mounted my “balance beam”. Hey Yo!
/quotes means the balance beam is actually my penis
Put the camera inside the toilet, ya dumbass.
–Chuck Berry
Have you people learned nothing from “Porky’s”? No messy electronic trail…
Really nice girls!!
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