Former Mets and Phillies outfielder/tobacco enthusiast Lenny Dykstra settled a lawsuit with an accounting firm over an unpaid bill of nearly $139,000 yesterday, and as he left court, he awesomely crashed into the metaphorical outfield wall of good taste. From the New York Post:
[Dykstra] bragged that plaintiff DDK & Co. “folded like Mitch Williams in the ninth… There was no case. There was nothing.” [...]
[He] also laughed off another recent suit that accuses him of being a deadbeat. Halcyon Jets alleged this month that Dykstra bounced a $7,000 check for a September flight from Las Vegas to Van Nuys, Calif.
“That’s my f- – -in’ ashtray money, bro,” he said. “I don’t even know if I flew on their plane.” Dykstra also showed The Post the jacket lining of his charcoal-gray pinstripe suit. “See that purple label, bro? That’s seven large,” he said.[...]
Dykstra – who claims to have reaped $60 million playing the stock market – …said he was losing $500,000 a month on [his magazine The Players Club] but wasn’t worried. “It’s not about money,” he said. “It’s about giving back.”
You can tell that Dykstra is really rich and has no financial problems whatsoever because he’s talking about how expensive his clothes are. Fabulously wealthy people always do that. Ignore the multiple lawsuits over unpaid bills, he has a fancy suit! And those Twizzlers are organic, bro!


Former Phillies teammate Milt Thompson added, “And you see this purple label? Grape drank, son.”
tabacco flavored twizzlers?
He looks like an ex-KGB spook.
It may be ashtray money, but it sure isn’t f—in’ haircut money, bro. He looks like the third place winner of a John Daly Lookalike Content.
It’s not about money,” he said. “It’s about giving back to the moron ball players who can’t manage millions of money, the real victims in all of this. Fuck the kids though, they dont have nearly enough money for me to give a shit”
/spits.
millions of dollars, merk.
/spits.
Redman and Twizzlers eqauls crazy delicious.
I wish Darren Daulton was this awesome.
Jesus, working at New York has been hell on Will Leitch.
Remember that he was the normal one on the 86′ Mets.
I decided to read one more story before I hit the can and then I get to Burnsys and it took every bit of strength in my body to hold the poop in.
+1 to Burnsy for nearly making me poop my pants.