DAVID WRIGHT MAULED BY COUGARS
11.18.08
I would literally rather be attacked by a mountain lion.
Mets third baseman David Wright sparked excitement among fans at a fund-raiser for his charity, or so says someone connected to Page Six, which means this story is strictly for entertainment value.
A spy at the Hard Rock Cafe in Times Square for his “Do the Wright Thing” event watched in shock as Wright was “mobbed by a swarm of trashy-looking cougars. Middle-age women with bad ’80s hair were practically pushing down little kids who were trying to get baseballs signed.” Wright was overheard pleading, “Ladies, calm down! Please, relax.”
Ah, the sweet life of a young, hunky baseball star in the Big Apple. “Ladies, calm down! I’m sorry, I’m an old-fashioned guy; only three of you can come back to my apartment.”
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One of the “Cougars” was Mookie Wilson in drag.
The douche monitor on my computer just exploded in flames. Glavin!!!
um, who are the douches wearing those douche hats?
They asked Wright to take them home and show off his NL East championship banners from 07 and 08 but were soon disappointed.
Eat shit, Mets. Kiss my fucking ring.
He really is a tasty treat.
And, DES, that’s just mean.
So does that mean in this reprisal of “Do the Right thing”, Mookie will play the role of well, Mookie, and Billy Wagner will play Sal? (natural role, with the racism and all)
DES, you know that the Phillies only won because Joe Carter wasnt on the Rays
I’ve been looking for a new persona, think I might go with that one. No not the tattoo ridden mini fedora wearing, the gay baseball Mardi gras head look.
Nice scarf, dick.
Is that Corey Feldman on the left?
You can lose your mind,
When D-bags are two of a kind.
I think Mr. Met is David Wright’s real father.
If David Wright can get mauled by cougars why can’t those other two douchetards get sprawled by Lugers?
Sorry, Smello.
Just doing whatever any rational person would do and redirecting all of my anger at a sports franchise from being laid off from my job at Dupont(last days friday, 7 week severance package means a 51 day weekend! WOOHOO!!!PARTY!!!)
Thanks. My monitor smells of vinegar now.
@DEF: Ouch, sorry bro. So, will that mean more comments, or less comments?
@DEF: Sorry to hear about your layoff. Times suck. Too bad you can’t get paid for commenting on blogs…I mean, Matt pays me, but I’m the only one. Anyway, good luck finding a new gig (with firewall-less interwebs).
look on the bright side DEF, now you can become Really Drunken Eagles Fan.
seriously though, sorry about the job.
I prefer to Do The White Thing. And that means paying my bills and abiding by the law of course.
DEF, how’s that new marriage going now?
yeah, it was an awesome idea to have kid #1 right now. Babys due in June.
Sadly, yes, it will mean less frequentling the site during normal commenting hours since I will have to hop on whatever I can get real quick which right now looking to be some manual labor bullshit. Already have an interview set up for Amazon.com on Monday.
Thanks for the kind words but the wifes the actual breadwinner of the household, so financially it really isn’t going to hit us that hard as long as I find something close money wise in the next two months. And my dream of only having to wrok part time and living out Michael Keatons role in the comedy classic Mr. Mom inches closer to reality.
Anyways, dick joke.
“Michael Keatons role in the comedy classic Mr. Mom inches closer to reality.”
if this is true: start a fucking blog. kthnx.
all the best, man. If you need some of that free Canadian Health care for the young one. I’m your guy.
Sorry for that crap, DEF.
And, I hate myself for knowing this, but I think those two fedora-wearing douchebags are the ones going out with Nicole Ritchie and Paris Hilton.
Sorry about the job, DEF. But congrats on getting at least some severance. But, I still wish a firey death on the Phillies.
And yes, Brat. Those are the brothers Madden (Maddon?) formerly of Good Charlotte fame; now of whore banging fame.