Last month, R.J. Garrett and Gary Doxy, two former Cal football players, sought revenge for a racist comment at an off-campus party by planning to rob the offender, a white member of the crew team (yes, I’m aware that “white member of the crew team” is redundant).  The only problem: they robbed the wrong white people.

The suspects were armed with a weapon that turned out to be a BB gun [and] entered the residence through an open kitchen window. One man went into a bedroom, turned on the light and slammed the door shut before demanding a laptop computer at gunpoint, UC Berkeley said…

Garrett and Doxy were charged Monday with robbery and attempted robbery. Garrett was also charged with possessing an illegal, stolen sawed-off shotgun… Both men will also face student conduct charges.

Yes, they might go to jail for felony offenses, but what really stings is the student conduct charges.  They might get their library privileges revoked!

I feel especially bad for the non-racist white kids here.  Not because they were roused from bed and robbed in the middle of the night, but because Doxy and Garrett didn’t even respect them enough to use the sawed-off shotgun.  “Hey, should I bring my sawed-off shotgun to this robbery?” “Nope, this BB gun should be enough for these pussies.”  And it was.  Pussies.

[Sports by Brooks]