Dolphins owner Wayne Huizenga has spent the better part of the last two decades screwing over whichever Florida sports teams he could get his hands on, but now he’s finally ready to minimize his tightfisted mismanagement by selling most of his share of the team to partial owner John Ross.
But Wayne has to hurry! The billionaire who luxuriates in the accumulated wealth from Blockbuster and Waste Management might have to pay more taxes if those mean ol’ Democrats take over!
Huizenga said Sunday no date has been set for selling up to 45 percent more of the team to Stephen Ross, but the presidential election is among the issues weighing on his decision.
That’s because a Barack Obama administration is expected to mean higher capital-gains taxes. “He wants to double the capital gains tax, or almost double it,” Huizenga said. “I’d rather give it to charity than to him.”
Yes, because everyone knows that the sitting America president KEEPS all the taxes we pay. “I’d rather give my money away than see it go towards health care or public schools!” Yeah, he’s quite the philanthropist. He even donated money to a private prep school! He’s basically like Mother Teresa… Mother Teresa was a vampire, right?
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/226/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/05/Dolphins-Aircraft-Carrier-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/03/my-anus-mma-fighter-180x180.png)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/03/mark-duper-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2012/12/Eli-180x180.jpg)
Based on his track record, if we could rename it “The Wayne Huizenga Capital Gains Tax”, he’d be more than happy to pay it.
“The next Demmycrat on my lawn gets a private dance lesson with Bop Bop ‘n Snickers!” (kisses fists)
Fucking Wayne Huizenga: Reason #1744 to vote Obama.
And yes, 289 hates me (and all others with eyesight).
That’s really fucked up. What makes him think he’s entitled to keep the money he’s made on an investment?! Besides common sense, I mean.
mmmmm, fiscally conservative bacon!
@Bacon – it’s certainly justifiable to want to keep your money. No one likes paying taxes. I found the idiocy of the quote to be his problem with “giving it to him” — as if he signed the check over to Obama, who would then spend it, presumably, on marijuana and fried chicken.
Jokes are especially funny when they’re explained.
Fried chicken and arugula, Matt.
He is a fancy negro.
Since we’re talking political philosophy (oh boy!), there is something very wrong with not paying capital gains tax. People like Huizenga, Paris Hilton, Cindy McCain, etc., make a lot of money off their existing money. Shouldn’t they pay the same tax on their capital gains that I pay on my 9-to-5 income (he asked rhetorically)? Also, if you lose money on investments you can write off the loss to a degree, so not paying capital gains tax would be like…say, socializing losses while privatizing gains. Anyway, vote Obama. (Disclosure: I have most of my money in watermelon futures.)
The White Devil here doesn’t want Obama to fund ‘dem doggone terrorist cells. He be one of ‘dem Mooos-lums, right?
The current capital gain tax rate for someone in Wayne’s income bracket is not due to expire until 2011. So, unless he plans on torturing Marlins fans (both of them) for another 3 years, his point is moot.
Not moot: the fact that for some reason I’m craving chicken and waffles.
where’s the poflawa tag?
Chicken and waffles sounds like a really good idea. If anyone wants me, I’ll be over at Roscoe’s.
excuse me, but I went to that private prep school. and our library was very nice.
I didnt want to write a check for obama either, so I just crossed the street when I saw him coming.
I’m not paying any taxes until they bring the SAT back.
I’m pretty sure Huizenga understands that tax dollars don’t go to the sitting President. It might just be that his comments re giving tax dollars to Obama weren’t literal. But hey – as long as he doesn’t tax depravity, we’ll all be happy right?
The government takes 40% of our money and squanders it. All Huizenga managed to do was give plenty of people their jobs on his way to the top. Now, Obama and the Democrats want to make sure he can’t do that as much anymore. Sounds like a great plan!
sooner84′s profound and nuanced understanding of federal tax policy is simply breathtaking.
I’m sure Wayne H’s prep school isn’t nearly as good or as cost-efficient as many of the fine public, government-run schools littering our great land.
Just sayin smurphette, the government takes your money and “invests” it in programs that don’t accomplish their goals. It’s no crime to state the obvious.
No, actually it is definitely wrong to mislead people by glibly claiming to “state the obvious” when the issue is neither simple nor obvious – and the interplay between tax policy and the federal budget is certainly not either of those things.
Yes, you must know the whole story. Forget the fact that political parties on both sides have called for a more simplistic tax code. And I think the weight of statistics and common sense proves my argument, thank you.
The author of this post made a jab at Huizenga for not wanting to pay more in taxes and help public schools. I think it’s fairly certain to say that the throw-more-money-at-the-problem mentality has certainly not helped public schools or health care for that matter. Look it up.
But I think it’s best for everyone if withleather just goes back to refusing to make political statements on anything. They’re the best SPORTS blog on the web, no need to fuck it up.