Making fun of an intimate dinner between Alex Rodriguez and Tom Brady?  Good times.  But pair A-Rod with Madonna — again — and the joy of gossip loses some of its lurid luster.

Madonna and Alex Rodriguez had an intimate dinner on Tuesday… The Kabbalah pals “seemed very close” at Dos Caminos on Third Avenue, a source tells the mag. The Yankee star, who signed a divorce deal with wife Cynthia last month, hasn’t been seen with Mrs. Ritchie since Cynthia claimed last July that he’d had “an affair of the heart” with Madge.

Remember when Madonna was thought of as a provocative sex idol?  Remember this Madonna?  Yeah, that was a long time ago.  Now she’s being accused of “affairs of the heart” because her personality is so scintillating.  Listen, A-Rod, there’s only one kind of affair worth having, and it’s an affair of the groin.