Coming on the heels of Beijing’s success this summer, a noble group of sex enthusiasts have tapped Australia to host the inaugural Sex Olympia next August.
We are now seeking sexual athletes from all over the world to join the festivities. Medals are waiting to be claimed in various sexual disciplines. In the course of competition, we shall conclusively find out who are the best [sex-havers] in the world! [...]
The aim of the Sex Olympia is to contribute to the building of a peaceful and better world by liberating the world through sex, practised without discrimination of any kind and in the Olympic spirit, which requires mutual understanding with a spirit of friendship, solidarity, fair play and sexual liberty.
The list of competitive events includes Sexual Pentathlon, Marathon Shag, the Triple Hump, and Sex Gymnastics. Ooh, I’m great at Sex Gymnastics! I specialize in the Pummel Whores.