Coming on the heels of Beijing’s success this summer, a noble group of sex enthusiasts have tapped Australia to host the inaugural Sex Olympia next August.
We are now seeking sexual athletes from all over the world to join the festivities. Medals are waiting to be claimed in various sexual disciplines. In the course of competition, we shall conclusively find out who are the best [sex-havers] in the world! [...]
The aim of the Sex Olympia is to contribute to the building of a peaceful and better world by liberating the world through sex, practised without discrimination of any kind and in the Olympic spirit, which requires mutual understanding with a spirit of friendship, solidarity, fair play and sexual liberty.
The list of competitive events includes Sexual Pentathlon, Marathon Shag, the Triple Hump, and Sex Gymnastics. Ooh, I’m great at Sex Gymnastics! I specialize in the Pummel Whores.
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i call dibs on nastia liukin and her five head
is this gonna have porn stars or those fat people in their late 50′s who wear inappropriate swimwear?
I’d go a round with Alicia Sacramone except this time I will the one doing the punching.
Fuck. Dr. Octagon beat me to the Alicia Sacramone reference.
I don’t think your typical porn star would touch this competition with a ten foot pole. Instead, they would touch themselves with the pole, and then fornicate with it.
*I will be
/learn to proofread dumbass
Alicia Sacramone wants to pommel your horse. And by horse I mean penis.
I’d like to participate in the javelin throw, if you know what I mean.
(What I mean is that I would like to throw a javelin.)
Finally something I’m faster then Usain Bolt at.
So is the pentathlon a five way, five orifice penetration (ears and nose count), or something perverted?
+1 for the pummel whores reference. if i was single*, I would totally use that as a pick up line.
also +1 to stokke, that was great work.
*and attractive, and well built, and not a pasty ass red head.
I’ll skip the equestrian events, thankyouverymuch.
Headline –
“Pedophiles around the world flock to Australia to witness Chinese gymnastics team”
I’ve been waiting for an Olympic competition that isn’t ruined by Michael Phelps’ smile…and whores. Whores are always good (better dead).
Bibi Dahl will be coaching the Americans.
I clicked on the COMPETITIVE DICK-SUCKING tag and got taken to Contrarian’s blog. Yucky!
More like Pumble Whores, amirite?!
this might be a push on the viewers for the summer olympics…do you think the chinese will have 12yr old one the team?