10.14.08 THE RAYS AND PHILLIES BE WINNIN’

Phillies 7, Dodgers 5 — With Los Angeles on the verge of evening the NLCS at two games apiece, Shane Victorino and Matt Stairs both hit two-run homers in the 8th inning to give the Phillies a commanding 3-1 series lead with ace Cole Hamels going to the mound in Game 5.  It was a particularly disappointing performance for the Dodgers bullpen — partly because it had allowed only six hits in 11 innings of shutout ball in the first three games of the series, and partly because come on, Matt Stairs?  That guy’s been in more baseball uniforms than Alyssa Milano.

Rays 9, Red Sox 1 — The Rays roughed up Jon Lester like non-Hodgkin lymphoma, hitting four home runs while cruising to victory in the series’ first game at Fenway.  It was Boston’s worst home playoff loss since a 19-8 thrashing by the Yankees in ‘04, and their first series deficit since the Sox trailed Cleveland 3-1 last year.  Depressing note: in each scenario above, Boston won the rest of the games to close out the series.  Shhhh! Stop with the facts!  I’m masturbating to the idea of the Rays in five.  Boston fans’ tears make great lube.