TERROR TRIAL: PHANATICS VS. FANATICS
10.23.08In Camden, across the river from Philadelphia, five men are on trial for a plot to attack New Jersey’s Fort Dix and kill American soldiers stationed there.
The government has presented the case as one of the most frightening examples of homegrown terrorism since the Sept. 11 attacks.
Pretty serious stuff, and you can bet the American legal system, with its jury of peers, is taking this with stone-faced sobriety.
Thirteen of the 18 jurors and alternates wore clothing or buttons betraying their support for the Philadelphia Phillies. The attorneys, judge and spectators laughed.
The prosecution used its opening statement to declare that it intends to prove that the defendants, foreign-born Muslim men in their 20s, are members of one of the most evil organizations on Earth: the official Rays fan club.


Proving once again, everyone from the Tri-State are mouthbreathing retards.
PHILLIES!!!!
PHILLIES!!!!
PHILLIES!!!!
USA!!!
USA!!!
USA!!!
“one of the most evil organizations on Earth: the official Rays fan club . . .” Yes–the Rays fan club. Wreaking havoc since August 2008.
Fort Dix? Is that anywhere near Fort Nuts?
/people from New Jersey should be executed
All 13 potential jurors were excused from duty, as case law has established that Phillie fandom is prima facie evidence of a long criminal history.
The attorneys, judge and spectators laughed.
WHO’S LAUGHING NOW? HUH? WHAT? oh right, they need three more wins.
Fort Dix, home of the Aqua Devils swim club.
/lived in New Jersey as a kid
Doesn’t that guy mean “portraying” and not “betraying” since they were Phillies phans?
Give everyone on the jury a bat and put Rays jerseys on the terrorists.
Leave room for 10 minutes.
Justice doled out. Done.
I’d fancy my chances with that jury. In the front row you’ve got Jeffrey Archer – habitual liar and fraud, writer of shitty novels and former resident of the big house for perjury. In the back row you’ve got Stan Collymore – former footballer, dogger and girlfriend beater.
Every toilet in C.B. Park faces mecca.
Supposedly the case is horseshit.
/something funny