It’s been confirmed now that Mike Singletary took a unique line of reasoning when motivating his team at the half of their loss to the Seahawks on Sunday. He took off his pants and showed them the One-Eyed Pirate Of Doom.
At halftime of that game, Singletary called for the attention of his players. He then dropped his pants, turned around and pointed to his backside. He used this occasion and that visual to describe what happened to his team in the first half.
A NFL source inside the room confirmed the story…and added that Singletary then addressed the team for 3-4 minutes with his pants around his ankles.
The 49ers trailed 20-3 at halftime. They would lose the game, 34-13.
Because nothing inspires a roomful of guys like staring into a man’s anus. That move totally would have worked if the San Francisco 49ers actually had fielded players who hailed from San Francisco. They would have won that game and then sprinted straight to the bars. Adhere to the first rule of public speaking — know your audience…and know that your audience does NOT want to stare into your poop canal. Save it for the bedroom, Sparky.
[Ben Maller, via AZ Republic]
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This man is the greatest thing to happen to football since the forward pass.
Whenever I need a quick boost of motivation, I just turn on my old Macho Man Randy Savage highlight reels.
I suppose he needed to establish who the new big swinging dick was.
One thing’s for sure, that entire locker room had the “Singletary Eyes” when those pants dropped.
“Dammit, Singletary, I distinctly told you NOT to show your ass!!!”
-Dead Mentor Bill Walsh
Trade me now!
-Brady Quinn
Please, oh please tell me he did the Ace Ventura talk with your ass cheeks bit. “Excuse me, I’d like to Ass you a few questions.”
If the 49ers actually had some team spirit, they would have shown some solidarity (or as Mike calls it, SINGLETARITY!) and played the second half sans pants.
Tony D’Amato is impressed
He figured dropping his pants and making his backside available to 52 men was just the customary thing to do in San Fran. I could see how one would assume that.
Nice impression of Mike Martz’s offense.
I tried the same thing when I was a little league coach to decidedly less favorable results.
Mike Singletary’s brown-eye is extremely focused
The San Fran coach drops his pants and exposes his ripe asshole and we are all surprised? What shocks me is that some homo fist was not in it within seconds. San Fran must be going all straight on us.
Can anyone tell my why all former football players have necks that look like you stuffed boiled Red Vine licorice into a length of thigh-high panty hose?
I also love how according to the auto-spell checker thingy on here, no one on this blog has ever had the need to spell (or, more accurately, see or touch) ‘panty.’
Now, Frank. This is what a hole looks like. When you see it, hit it, and it it hard!
+1 for my grammar.
Vernon, hit the showers… You’d do Me better in the showers than on the field. I can’t coach with em, can’t play with em, just can’t do it… Unless we all take off our pants.