10.31.08 POWER RANKINGS: ABBEY, NOT SHABBY

I hate bullshit power rankings, so I make up my own.

1. Abbey Clancey.  She’s so attractive it’s actually depressing.  It’s like getting proof that God exists, but also learning He doesn’t care about you.

2. Indian summer.  This week we got visits from two (well, three) of the summer’s sexiest athletes: Leryn Franco and the Feres twins.  Note to self: move to South America.

3. Philadelphia.  Congrats on the World Series win, Philly, and thank you for your violent destruction of property and fellow fans.  Perhaps Penn State students can one day graduate to your level of mayhem.

4. Sponsored links.  Have you ever clicked on a link promoting a man cave before?  Oh yes, you can win your very own man cave.  Terrified?  Intrigued?  Is it what you think it is?  Only one way to find out.

5. Drew Magary.  Thanks to the Men With Balls author for running the site on Wednesday.  I hope you enjoyed his comedic stylings.  I certainly enjoyed the day off.  Be sure to buy his book, and don’t forget about the nice things I said about the FreeDarko book, either.

6. Mike Singletary.  The ultimate trifecta for an NFL coach: he delivered a memorable rant, was the subject of a reporter’s gaffe, and motivated his players by showing them his asshole.

7. John Daly.  I wish I lived a rich enough life to pass out in a Hooters.

8. Trashy Halloween costumes.  Honestly, I don’t care that it’s a cliche.  It’s just nice to see a day where normally buttoned-up women get completely unbuttoned.  And I’m not alone.

9. Seattle Mist.  Hooray, Seattle has a sports team I can be passionate about!  Or at least passionately masturbate to.

10. November.  The whole month is a big bag of celebration/days off.  The Marine Corps Birthday, Veterans Day, Thanksgiving, Not Working the Day After Thanksgiving…

Bonus video: Hockey!  Punching!

(via Puck Daddy)