Penn State University has introduced trading cards that celebrate not their student-athletes or sports heroes, but members of the faculty.
The 10-card set showcases top faculty members. Glaciologist Richard Alley is a featured academic star, as is entomologist [insect scientist] James Tumlinson.
Aw man! Not another Tumlinson! I’ve already got three of this scrub! Now the Alley rookie card, that’s a good find. You just never know which of the young profs will flame out, and which ones will get tenure.
“We have many great faculty, and they are surely worthy of the accolades our society often lavishes on athletes, coaches, and celebrities in the entertainment world,” school president Graham Spanier wrote.
Counterpoint: No. No, they are not.
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Maybe instead of producing useless gimmicks to make a larger point about our society, Penn State should put its energy into, y’know… not being such an unbelievably fucking horrible school.
Virginia Tech is selling their Bullet-Riddled Hokies Trading Card Set. 23 to a pack.
While I refrain from dishing out accolades to faculty unless they run a sub 4.3 forty, I am looking forward to getting the Tweed Jacket editions.
These cards don’t even have statistics on the back! How the hell am I supposed to know how many articles Alley had published in The Glaciologist last year, or what percentage of co-eds Tumlinson coerced into sucking him off by threatening to fail them in one of their core requirements?
Zack, you can borrow my “Beckett: Professors” magazine if you want to see their market value.
…surely worthy of the accolades our society often lavishes on athletes…
Ummm, it’s a STATE school.
Because there’s nothing quite like the feeling of putting your own personal trading card in the spokes of your bike.
Our small town police department did something like this. Sadly, the backs were anti-drug slogans and not their kill stats.
If you can’t go to college you can always go to state.
It’s like my old man always said: when people actually buy tickets to hear the professors speak, then they can be more famous. He also used to say “Book learnin’s fer fags!” and “Where’d you hide my likker you little shit I’ll beat you ’til you cain’t see straight fer this!”
jackechambers, I am intrigued by your father’s ideas, and wish to subscribe to his newsletter.
If he heard you talking like that, he’d, quote, give you something to subscribe about, unquote.
He was very giving, that way.
“Penn State has professors?????”
-Penn State football team