GETTING PUNCHED IN THE FACE IS FUN
10.17.08
ABC News is reporting that Morton Ranch High School has suspended all of its cheerleaders for the rest of the school year because of this cheerleader hazing story from Texas. [It was new to me! --Ed.] To reset, this 15-year-old girl in Katy, Texas that had just made the cheerleader team was pulled out of her bed in the middle of the night, bound at the wrists and ankles with duct tape, and then thrown into a swimming pool with soiled shorts over her head. Yeah, I know, I was almost there, too:
“I could hear some of the other members yelling, ‘I can’t swim, I can’t swim. Stop, please. Don’t push me in,’” [Courtney] Nickell said. “Our hands were still bound together and our blindfolds were still on, which terrified me even more. I didn’t know if I was going to come back up and live or if I was not going to make it.”
The older girls, in their defense, cited the timeless healing power of violence.
“When I got punched in the face, I laughed about it,” [Cailyn] Mothersbaugh said, referring to when she went through a similar experience while on the JV squad. “It was fun. I wasn’t going to be mad at one of the girls because it’s team bonding. It brought us together.”
Damn, girl. You just can’t jump into bondage with a 15-year-old, not without a damp basement and some grain alcohol, at least. You want to bond with another girl? Eat a few cherries out of her snatch next time. Far less traumatizing. And more nutritious.
Sorry, I realize how gross that last paragraph was. Cherries are disgusting.
UPDATE: Video after the jump.
flashvars="config=http://www.buzzcuts.com/getVideo/4517">
[ABC News]

so are they, or are they not supposed to B-E aggressive?
Push her on her back, waaaaaay back.
This hazing is real similar to what us new altar boys would get from the priests. Only there’s nothing in this story about felching communion wine, or a scrotal crown of thorns.
/goes fetal, pisses pants
If someone could let me know what those shorts were “soiled” by, I could finish up here.
they could have also bonded by sharing a double ended dildo.
Yeah, OK, I did it. I stopped when I found out she was 15. That’s way too old.
a little xanax goes a long way
Nightime abductions? Simulated drownings? Torture?
These chicks are also clearly members of the Young Republicans.
Yyyyyy – because our team is
Eeeeee – electrifying
Ssssss – with super spirit
Y-E-S
*roundhouse*
WhyDoYouAsk,
Mother of God, sir.
And just how were those panties soiled? Like, Japanese vending machine soiled, or;
“Look here newbie, you need to shit yourself, because those panties are going on her head!”
It’s all fun and games until the waterboarding begins.
[quitetothecontrary.com]
Hey girls, you know what else is a great hazing activity? That’s right… blow job contest.
I don’t care if you have video of the aforementioned event, Contrarian, we aren’t going to your site.
I prefer to punch my cheerleaders in the back of the head.
DONKEY PUNCH, FTW!!!
Walk it off
[thingsfatpeoplehate.wordpress.com]