Over the weekend, Christ was risen… to the tops of teammates shoulders after scoring three touchdowns in a New Jersey high school football game (via Lion in Oil):
Yeah, Christ in New Jersey. Hey, it’s pretty much the Palestine of America.
In other holy running back news, Purple Jesus ran for 111 yards in the Vikings’ narrow victory over the Lions, but it was actually one of the worst performances by any NFL running back on Sunday, according to science. Further proof that those godless nerds will burn for all eternity.
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further proof that Jesus is Catholic, suck on that born again Christians!
Yet he cannot hit a curve ball.
Purple Jesus looks like that woman a few years ago who refused to put out after I bought her lobster on our first date.
I wonder what happened to her………….
Man, Grimmace got RIPPED while he was in prison.
Crazy thing is, Christ got those 232 yards on one carry. He’s that good.
He’s even better on their Swim team.
Yeah, but they sent Christ out on a Crossing route. He got nailed.
/hey, you guys smell that brimstone?
He’s that good, HHY, but the press has been absolutely crucifying him for his sloppy blocking.
Also, he can’t hold onto the screen pass. It’s like he has holes in his hands.
He may be able to run, but the scouting report says he has holes in his hands.
I’ll get you next time whowillsexmutombo….NEXT TIME!
Christ was extra motivated seeing that his opponent last week was the Pontious Pilots.
The Jews defensive line was softened by injuries to Moses and Abraham in the first quarter.