A Montana teacher suffered some cuts and bruises but was otherwise okay after he struck a bear while riding his bicycle to school.
Jim Litz said he was traveling about 25 mph Monday morning when he came upon a rise and spotted a black bear about 10 feet in front of him. He didn’t have time to stop and T-boned the bruin.
He tumbled over the handlebars, his helmet hit the bear’s back and the two went cartwheeling down the road.
The bear rolled over Litz’s head, cracking his helmet, and scratched his back before scampering up a hill above the road.
A funnier thing would have been if the bear had been riding the bicycle. I saw that at the circus when I was young. Mom and Dad cleaned the elephant cage, and I sold tickets.
(Photo: AP/Michael Gallacher, “Ouch my spleen”)


Book ‘em Lou. One count of being a bear. And one count of being an accessory to being a bear.
Hey! How come my pay is so low? …Bear patrol tax! This is an outrage! Let the bears pay the bear tax. I pay the Homer tax.
We’re here, we’re queer and we don’t want any more bears!
Seriously, with the mentioning of ‘bears’, google ads has just placed a ‘gayBeardating’ ad on my computer. WITH PICTURES!
I need to go home and shower for four hours.
@DEF: You can masturbate for four hours???
/nods with impressed look
humans 1, godless killing machines 0
Hell, if someone takes longer than 30 seconds to burp his worm then I accuse them of bragging.
BEAR BLASTING!
I wish I had a cool story like this to tell women. I am sick of telling women about that one time I almost shit my pants in spanish class in highschool. I had to shit really bad, but if I got up to walk to the bathroom I would have shit myself. It was a catch 22.
Buy a fucking car, asshole.
I would have punched that bear right in the face.
Pauly:
I guess this guy is just too energetic for normal sports.
Relevant:
[www.explosm.net]
Technically, your spleen is on your left…this guy OBVIOUSLY has gall stones.