What to watch for in this weekend’s biggest matchups.  One team or another in ALL CAPS.

LUISANA over Louisiana– One’s a gun-toting Argentine model squeezing lime on her breasts, the other’s a swamp with questionable dikes.  Blowout of the week.

#10 AUBURN over #6 LSU — The home team has won the Tiger Battle every year for the last ten years, so I’ll go with that.  Maybe I’d pick LSU if it stood for Luisana Sucks Ufford.

Steelers over EAGLES –I like to pick against the team I’m rooting for.

Cowboys over PACKERS — Go to hell, Ryan Grant.  You take your weak-ass hamstring and go straight to hell.

Mets over BRAVES — I, for one, think the Mets WON’T collapse during their weekend series in Atlanta. **prepares to watch them collapse**

Hispanic Cheerleaders over TEAR GAS — I guess that matchup doesn’t really make sense.  Whatever, I wanted to pay homage to the former, and I’ve hated the latter since gas-mask training.  Well, except when it gets used on hippies.  Then it rules.

Whew!  That week flew by, huh?  Well, it did for me, anyway.  Your opinion doesn’t count.  Have a great weekend and come back Monday for another helping of whatever it is we serve here.  Dick jokes with a side of boobs, I suppose.