At this point in the history of With Leather, I’ve seen enough face plants to declare myself America’s leading expert on the phenomenon.  I could get a doctorate in Sports-Related Facial Injuries if only there was a college that didn’t have any kind of reputation to uphold.  ( **applies to Florida State** )

What I’m getting at is that years of research has led me to this sole conclusion: whatever you do, don’t let your children grow up to be white teenagers.