I hate bullshit power rankings, so I make up my own.

1. Adriana Lima.  Marko Jaric or not, I’ll take any excuse to look at these pictures again.

2. Vince Young.  He’s not crazy, he just needs our love and support.  Here’s some support:  You’re doing great! At losing your multi-million-dollar job.

3. Bernard Pollard.  The heretofore little-known Chief demolished Tom Brady’s ACL, altering the courses of the NFL season, gamblers’s bets, and my fantasy team.  Dick.

4. Maria Sharapova.  Looking much hotter than usual at Fashion Week.  Probably because she isn’t like I usually see her, all sweaty and grunting.  What I’m saying is, we have sex a lot.

5. Joe Biden.  He’s not Sarah Palin.

6. Rey Mysterio.  Is he still wrestling?  Is he still alive?  Well, at the very least he’s inspiring high school linebackers.

7. Tampa Bay Buccaneers.  Helping people be bitchy tattletales since 2008.

8. Skateboarders.  These kids make the list every week, it seems.  This is the best one of the week.

9. Nazis.  Their long-reaching influence could make it to the new Meadowlands stadium.  So be sure to boycott Allianz.  And IBM.  And Volkswagen.  And definitely KillTheJews.com.  Not sure how that last one was around during World War II, but whatever.

10. Florida undergrads.  Hooray boobs!  And boobs that diss Big 10 girls: even better.  Yes, I’m still bitter about choosing Northwestern.  Ivy League smarts and Big Ten bodies = bad times.

Random-ass video of the week: Okay, I hate politics, and I think the whole RickRoll phenomenon is one of the stupidest things about the Internet. But I have to say, this is brilliantly executed.