Apparently tired of jet-setting around and nailing whichever hot young Hollyood tail is presented to him (like Jake Gyllenhaal or Matthew McConaughey), Lance Armstrong will return to cycling for the 2009 Tour de France. He will be 37.
But the man left the sport after beating cancer and then winning seven straight Tours without ever getting busted for doping — despite rumors to the contrary. It was the perfect ending. Why would he return now? (Don’t say revenge don’t say revenge don’t say revenge…)
Armstrong told Vanity Fair that “revenge” against those who think he used performance-enhancing drugs is part of his motivation.
Don’t get me wrong, I think revenge is absolutely the best reason to do anything, but he’s placed himself in a situation where anything less than a victory is a complete failure. That kind of pressure is partly why my parents and I no longer speak. Although why they wanted me to win the Tour de France, I have no idea.
![[avatar]](http://p.uproxxcdn.com/photo/226/thumb)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/03/epic-rap-battles-of-history-lance-armstrong-vs-babe-ruth-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/03/and-now-the-ol-pitcher-tackles-runner-play-with-leather-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/03/the-best-and-worst-of-wwe-old-school-raw-3413-with-leather-180x180.jpg)
![[image]](http://cdn.wl.uproxx.com/wp-content/thumbnails/130/110/2013/01/hanglider-crash-180x180.png)
Hot Girls with Douchebags v2?
Revenge is the reason that One Nut plowed an Olsen. That’s what Dave Coulier gets for turning down Lance’s handjob offer at a UTEP football game.
John Kruk was heard on the Baseball Tonight set muttering about his own uniball comeback.
For cockblocking me with an Olsen, I shall seek my own revenge. Hello. My name is Inigo Montoya. You killed my father prepare to die.
I believe it was Shakespeare that once wrote, “Revenge is a dish best served with one testicle.”
Or something like that.
haha. winston likes little boys.
It’s almost Farve-like.
NUTS.
Really, what the disadvantage of going uniball?
You can still show off the horrifying powers of the ‘Pulsating Alien Brain’……
Homer Simpson revenge list > Lance Armstrong revenge list.
-Bill of Rights
-Grandpa
-Fat-Free Lard
-Gravity
-Emmys
-Darwin
-H2WHOA!
-Billy Crystal
-God
-Soloflex
-The Boy
-Stern Lecture Plumbing
-Econo-Save
He thought lately the French have been getting too lippy.
“Armstrong told Vanity Fair that “revenge” against those who think he used performance-enhancing drugs is part of his motivation.”
Cue the comeback montage set to the tune of “You’re the Best Around!”
go rock there world again…one nut or not ! ! !
The high-end tail is starting to dry up. Winning one more tour should keep it going for another 5 to 10 years before he settles down.