Ungainly Angels hurler Jered Weaver will miss his scheduled start tonight due to an injury sustained by that perilous destroyer of careers: the dugout bench.

Weaver sustained cuts on the tips of the middle and ring fingers of his pitching hand while pushing himself up off the Comerica Park dugout bench during Tuesday night’s game against the Tigers. The cuts were not deep enough to require stitches.

“I went to push to get up and gripped where the staples in the upholstery come together, and it just got me,” Weaver said. “It sliced me pretty good. It felt like a paper cut, but a lot deeper.”

Scioscia said Weaver “shouldn’t have any problem pitching on Monday, but we want to make sure he heals up and throws a little bullpen session.”

“Oh yeah, guys. It was like a paper cut, but so much more intense and debilitating. Like a thick construction paper cut. This splinter might take one, two days to get out.”

[Larry Brown Sports]