09.11.08 DRUNK JUMPER SOON TO BE DRUNK BUM
Ivan Ukhov, a high jumper who appeared staggering and falling through a jump in a YouTube video that circulated last week, could be banned for the sport for up to a year.
His less-than-graceful attempt at the opening height was a hit on YouTube, but Ivan Ukhov could be for the high jump after disgracing himself at last week’s Grand Prix in Lausanne.
The young high jumper was told by officials to pull out of the competition because he was drunk. The Russian athletics federation will discuss his case later this month, and he could face a one-year ban.
Valentin Maslakov, Russia’s head coach, said: “By competing in such a condition, he has disgraced all Russian track and field athletes. I will ask our federation to suspend Ukhov for a year.”
Wait, a Russian has actually gotten in trouble for being drunk? What is the world coming to? Isn’t that their natural state of being? Before you know it, it won’t be acceptable for them to live in abject misery. They’re losing their national character!
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DRUNK JUMPER SOON TO BE DRUNK BUM
By this act, “The Idiot” clearly displayed “The Raw Youth” of his existence. Now he will learn what “Crime and Punishment” is all about.
Kerry Collins has no comment.
What will he do if he’s barred from his lucrative career as a high jumper!
He’s lucky. I showed up to work drunk this morning and they told me to NEVER come back.
I showed up to work drunk once. When the security card asked me for my ID badge, I pretended to root around my pockets for a while and then flipped him off.
I showed up to work drunk once. Too bad I was a Marine and I had to pick weeds around the building for a week. Gooooooood times.
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