DON’T CONFUSE HIS CLUB
09.18.08
J.B. Holmes goes by his first two initials, not because he’d like to be associated with the brand of scotch, but to disassociate himself with a certain famed pornstar who was the inspiration for Boogie Nights. He must not like Paul Thomas Anderson.
“I didn’t even know who John Holmes was at first. But I soon figured it out after people started calling me a porn star.
“When I was playing high school golf I used to get it all the time, with people either trying to wind me up or have a laugh at my expense.
“I got tired of it pretty quickly — but other people didn’t.”
I know, it’s tough to get teased as a guy who has sex with a ton of women. Happens to me all the time. Still, you might luck out and land a star-struck and confused young lady. Or at least charges mistaken filed against your more famed name-twin instead of you. Sounds like a win-win.

I’d be pissed too if I was mistaken for the reason that atrocity of a movie was made.
God, Boogie Nights sucked harder than Rollergirl.
Try this with the ladies, JB:
“Hello, I’m John Holmes. And while my schlong may not be as legendary as the other John Holmes, I make up for it being alive and not having AIDS.”
JB is not Scotch. It’s Bourbon.