09.24.08 CELEBRATIONS ARE GAY
AL — The Red Sox clinched a playoff berth by beating Cliff Lee and the Indians 5-4. Jonathan Papelbon notched his 41st save, then soaked David Ortiz with a big blast. Of champagne, that is. Then they had lots of gay sex… Javier Vazquez, chastised by manager Ozzie Guillen for not being a big-game pitcher, went out and delivered four innings of five-run ball as the Twins cruised to a 9-3 victory that pulled them to within 1½ games of the division lead. Way to motivate your guy, Ozzie… The Rays got their first-ever doubleheader sweep, dropping their magic number to two… Oh, and the Yankees are officially out of the playoff race. **pops champagne**
NL — A heroic outing from Johan Santana got the Mets to within a game and a half of the Phillies (who lost to the Braves), thus sparking some faint hope in Mets fans’ hearts, which will make their ultimate collapse so much more painful. Sorry New Yorkers, but you know it’s true.
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There are 10 comments about:
CELEBRATIONS ARE GAY
Celebrations ARE gay. Know what else is gay? Sucking off dudes you meet at a rest stop.
Two asterices to indicate action? Well la di da your majesty.
@Vince:
I like to really set the action apart from the words. And the forward slash takes up too much space on the page.
/dons monocle
//drinks tea with pinky extended
And yet no recap of last night’s exciting NHL preseason action. For shame!
where are the champagne soaked Hedi Watney pics???
I hope Javy Vazquez dies in a fire. Heartless bitch.
You may all hate the Yankees, but there is no bigger douche in the world than Papelbon. I’m sure he celebrated with a cool glass of Clay Aiken’s scrotal sauce.
Please, Papelboner has lots to learn about douchebaggery from A ROD, Johnny Jesus and gay-chanting Yankee fans.
Aren’t these celebrations a little phony nowadays? Do these guys really give a shit? I could see them getting excited in the bygone days because they just upped their pay by 50%, but this has to be a celebration of their manlove for each other to be authentic now.
… there were days we would have celebrated anything Red Sox related by staring at pictures of japanese bikini models.
O tempora, o mores!
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