The exciting regular-season finale between the White Sox and Tigers that will determine the fate of the AL Central began this aftern– oh, never mind.  It’s raining in Chicago.  Millions of people are waiting for the playoffs to start, but we can’t do that until the weather gets nicer.  The game’s been delayed something like three or four hours, but they won’t call the game because the goddam season needs to end.

Here, I’ll solve the problem: have the Sox and Tigers play a day game tomorrow.  If the Sox lose, great.  If not, have the Twins on hand to play the second half of a doubleheader.  It’ll be like Diggstown, but way lamer and without James Woods.  Oh, is that unfair to the White Sox?  No one ever said baseball was fair, honey.

Also on tonight: Monday Night Football, starring the blood feud known as Ravens-Steelers.  You can follow all the fun (Kornheiser-bashing and Pittsburgh-mocking)  with me in the weekly live-blog/chat over at Kissing Suzy Kolber.

(Photo: Jonathan Daniel/Getty Images, 2006)