Well, this was predictable: a soccer game in Congo was interrupted when one team’s goalie began practicing witchcraft on the field, yadda yadda, eleven people died.

Nyuki club was losing to local rivals Socozaki on Sunday when Nyuki’s goalkeeper advanced up the pitch and tried to use “fetishist” spells to turn the tide of the match, Okapi said, without giving more details.

When a police commander tried to break up an ensuing brawl between rival players, members of the crowd pelted him with rocks, the radio added. Police fired teargas in response, causing a stampede to the exits in which 11 people were killed and several injured, Okapi said.

All in all, you’d have to call that a success for Africa.  Any time you can get thousands of people in the Congo into one stadium and only eleven people die — that’s pretty impressive.  Sure, the police fired tear gas at people.  But at least they kept the lions out.

Asked for his feelings after the game, the goalkeeper said, “Ooh ee, ooh ah ah. Ting, tang, walla walla bing bang.”  A stirring commentary of our times.

[Unprofessional Foul]