08.27.08 WIFFLE BALL MARATHON GOES 24 HOURS
Some kindhearted but softheaded folks in northwestern Pennsylvania held a 24-hour wiffle ball game to raise money for charity. Because pity money’s as good as any.
The whiffle-ball players raised about $1,500 for Western Star Lodge No. 304 of Albion’s college scholarship fund. Fans also brought about 200 cans of food and other packaged items for the Northwestern Food Pantry in Albion…
The final score? Brozich’s white team scored 935 runs, and the blue team scored 514. The game ended in the top of the 149th inning, said Brozich’s wife, Kendra, Some guys hit — what? — 150, 200 home runs.
The long balls weren’t exactly Ruthian — the fences were only 64 feet away. But you might think that only if you’ve never tried to hit a whiffle ball. The holes can make the balls dance like a curveball from Josh Beckett.
Wait, they stopped in the top of the inning with the winning team nursing only a 421-run lead? Way to besmirch the integrity of the game, guys.
And how did the donations work out? They raised slightly over $1 per run scored. You need a rounder number to determine how people should give. Next time they should charge based on how many hits with a wiffle bat it would take to kill the person who came up with this fundraiser. That whistle of the wiffle bat is really a death rattle.
There are 11 comments about:
WIFFLE BALL MARATHON GOES 24 HOURS
Way to get creative with the team names.
Clearly the winning team has a better bullpen than the Mets. That 421 run deficit could’ve easily been wiped out if those guys had been playing.
/angry Mets fan
I did it like this, I did it like that
I did it with a whiffleball bat
So I’m on the run, the cop’s got my gun
And right about now, it’s time to have some fun
I don’t care how retarded this is, it’s still better than kickball.
Actually, now that I’m thinking about it, they should have used this fundraiser to raise money for retards. That way they could have kept the money.
Sorry, Zack, the “fundraiser for retards” idea was already taken by the school’s Qwiddich Club.
Still less queer than those broom riding tinkerbells. Fuck you Harry Potter.
They were going to play quite a bit longer, but the ump called the game citing the mercy rule.
Why don’t they spend their free time doing cool stuff like playing Dungeons & Dragons?
They raised $62/hour…yeah, that was worth it. You’re going to put a ton of broke kids through college now.
Wow, fasting just jumped up a step in the “cool things to do for 24 hours.”
Fucking Motherfucker!
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