Olympics — Sorry everyone, you already missed the opening ceremonies. President Bush was there (along with 91,000 other people in the Bird’s Nest), becoming the first U.S. president to attend an Olympics in another country. That should save his legacy. The good news is that NBC will play the ceremony tonight at 7:30, meaning you have plenty of time after work to get high in preparation. For those of you already high: check out the photo gallery.
NFL — On Sunday Night Football on Thursday, the Jets rallied to beat the Browns, scoring two touchdowns against the sixth-team defense in the final quarter, as He Who Shall Not Be Named watched from the sidelines… Both Super Bowl participants lost their preseason openers, while Eli Manning looked notably sloppy. Get that kid outta New York! He’s never gonna make the leap!
MLB — Mike Mussina won his AL-best 15th game, while Raul Ibanez (walkoff HR in the 9th) is still insanely hot. Need more baseball? Get bent.
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"AL-best" = "tied for AL-best"
sorry, cliff lee made me do that
Swany says to self,"Shit, I'm kinda high already…"
*clicks link excitedly at the stupid office that he will not do any work at until 9:45 CST and had a cup of coffee and possibly go to the deli and have some eggs and an english muffin, a Thomas's English Muffin, because I hear that Tommie Harris eats them before every game because the nooks and crannies help him somehow find and fight through the nooks and crannies in the opposing offensive line for sacks!*
Insanely hot? I'll give you cute but not hot.
finally China has figured out their smog problem. Shoot fireworks into the air.
I can't believe the fireworks didn't ignite the atmosphere.
OH NO!!! CHINESE FIRE DRILL!!! SERIOUS THIS TIME!!!!
UU, fireworks blow up smog, you dumbass. 100%!
/Dong, where is my automobile?
Avoid that Olympic Ceremony tonight (thanks Canada). It's like being at the planetarium and realizing you've forgotten the acid and weed. Crazy Chinamen.
"AL-best" = "tied for AL-best"
Exactly. Yankee propaganda, dammit.